


Bling and Bland

by sinigangtrash



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Bisexual Male Character, Boyfriends, College, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Gay Panic, Hetalia Countries Using Human Names, Homosexuality, M/M, Pansexual Character, Roommates, Smut, University, Wealth, Writers, spamano - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:15:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24035698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinigangtrash/pseuds/sinigangtrash
Summary: Frustrated that he's stuck with a roommate who's basically his polar opposite until he graduates, freshman student Lovino is determined to get college done and over with. He isn't interested in making friends, and he definitely isn't interested in love - love never ended well for him in the past. But despite all that, his roommate Antonio set a goal - to make Lovino realize that there's more to life than just money and education. And to help Lovino get through college life with a smile. Or at least, try to get him to smile, even just once. And when Antonio has his mind set to a goal, it's nearly impossible to get him to give up. (Because he's just like that, the wholesome angel.)
Relationships: America/England (Hetalia), China/Russia (Hetalia), Denmark/Norway (Hetalia), Finland/Sweden (Hetalia), Germany/North Italy (Hetalia), Hong Kong/Iceland (Hetalia), Hungary/Prussia (Hetalia), Molossia/Seborga (Hetalia), South Italy/Spain (Hetalia), Taiwan/Vietnam (Hetalia)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

Lovino looked up from his phone to see a boy standing at the door. The boy had not much but a large bag in his hands, as well as a notebook.

The boy smiled and put the bag down. His curly brown hair bounced slightly with his subtle movements, and he turned to look at Lovino.

“Oh, you must be my roommate!” he exclaimed, putting his hand forward, indicating a handshake. “I’m Antonio. I look forward to making lots of friends here! I hope we can be good friends, too.” He was definitely Hispanic, Lovino thought to himself, looking him up and down. And those clothes looked like they came straight from the 80s. Or something, dammit. Was he a farm boy?

Actually, he’s probably not Hispanic. Lovino shook his head, still somewhat deep in thought as he stared at the boy. Yep, he’s just a Spaniard.

_The real fucking deal._

Ignoring the kind gesture, Lovino scoffed and glared at him. “Of course. And you clearly didn’t plan well for this, dammit.”

Antonio raised his eyebrows in confusion. “I’m sorry…?”

“Look at you, bringing nothing but a simple duffel bag, of all things. Not even a decent luggage? What could you possibly have inside there? You’re literally going to be living here, stupid. Could’ve at least brought a suitcase.” Lovino stared at the bag, which was sitting on the floor beside the door. “Can you even afford a fucking suitcase, dammit?”

“Ah, I suppose that’s true, don’t you think?” he laughed. It impressed Lovino how calm Antonio was, not to mention how much he…

…Well, how much he _smiled._ They were only meeting for the first time, yet it seemed like Antonio was having a conversation with a friend.

It irritated Lovino to think that he’d have to share a room with someone who was practically his polar opposite until he graduated. Who the fuck does he think he is, acting like we know each other – that we’re friends? Lovino thought to himself, frowning.

“The thing is, I figured I’d just bring the essentials today, and just buy everything else along the way,” Antonio said, shrugging. “Or something.”

 _“Or something,”_ Lovino repeated, rolling his eyes. Well, he thought to himself, it’s only natural someone like Antonio wouldn’t be able to do all of that all at once. College is an important part of life – but it’s fucking expensive too, that’s for sure.

The money wasn’t really a big problem for Lovino, having grown up in a wealthy family, everything was practically being given to him and his two younger brothers. Their parents spoiled them rotten since early childhood.

 _Spoonfeeding_ , Lovino thought. That’s what it was.

“I can afford a suitcase, actually,” Antonio said, closing the door. “I just think it would be easier if I saved up for things like that instead.”

“What, you mean you can’t afford it _now_?” Lovino snorted. Antonio gave an awkward smile, and Lovino felt a slight pang of guilt and regret for saying something like that out loud. Maybe Antonio was in a tight spot or something. Of course, not everyone lives the rich life.

Lovino inhaled, tapping his fingers against the wall. He had a habit of fidgeting with his hands when he was nervous, or rather, whenever he was engaging in a conversation at all. He tied his long, auburn hair up in a low ponytail and gave a sigh. “Well. This is pretty fucking awkward.” And whose fault was that? He cringed, wanting to just bolt out of the room right now.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Antonio laughed, sitting down at one of the beds. He immediately stood up and awkwardly stared at Lovino again. “Um…do you want this side? Or that side of the room? I really don’t care, haha…”

 _Oh my fucking God, this poor bastard_ , Lovino thought. He swallowed and shrugged. “Y-you can keep that side, I guess. You already sat there, anyway.”

Antonio gave a gentle smile, and Lovino looked at the ground. This boy…was different to anyone he had ever met. It was as if Lovino’s snarky attitude and rude remarks weren’t bothering him at all. What’s more, it seemed Antonio was still set on his goal to befriend him. Maybe it even boosted his motivation, actually.

“Who’s this?” Antonio asked, staring at a small photo that was inside the drawer on Lovino’s side of the room. The photo was of a girl – about sixteen or seventeen. Her eyes were a pretty shade of blue, her hair dyed red. “She’s pretty.”

“That’s-“ Lovino’s neutral expression turned to slight anger, and he hurriedly took the photo out of Antonio’s hands. “My…girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?”

“…Ex, actually.” Lovino shook his head and stuffed the photo back into the drawer. “We broke up when we graduated from high school.”

“Who’s this girl, then?” Antonio asked, looking at the other photos inside the drawer.

Lovino blushed. “All exes. Could you… _not?_ I mean…fuck. They’re exes. They don’t fucking matter.” That was a lie. He had thought he had put his last relationship behind him – the girl had fucking _cheated_ on him, for fuck’s sake. But he loved her.

At least, he thought. And was still thinking. Did he _really_ love her?

Well, it didn’t matter. Well, not now at least. Whatever. “Fuck. Don’t you have your own side of the room? That’s what you said, didn’t you?” Lovino said, his face reddening.

Antonio bit his lip and stopped smiling. “Oh, yeah.” He walked over to his side of the room and sat down on his bed. “…Sorry.”

Lovino pulled something red out of his drawer, and stood up, letting out a tired sigh. “Alright, you bastard. Listen the fuck up. I don’t appreciate you looking through my shit and asking about my exes.”

“I’m sorry,” Antonio quickly said. “I didn’t mean to snoop. I also didn’t know they were your exes. I thought they were friends.” It was just out of pure curiosity, he thought to himself. But he shouldn’t have looked through. Or asked. Why did Lovino even keep photos of his ex-girlfriends, anyway?

…Maybe that wasn’t a good question to ask, actually. Maybe he was the one who got dumped.

And now Lovino was pissed. Well, not like he wasn’t already pissed in the first place, but still.

Lovino dragged the red tape across the floor, lining the two areas into half. “This side is mine, this is yours. Don’t fucking cross the line, or you’re dead.”

But you’re shorter than me, Antonio thought to himself, still smiling. Sure, Lovino was rude and probably had anger issues. But he wasn’t intimidating. Not in a scary sense, at least. “Sure,” he replied. “I won’t, I promise.”

Lovino bit his lip again, eager to change the subject. It seemed Antonio was the type who couldn’t read the atmosphere well – he was dense as fuck. In that case, changing the subject seemed like a better turn, considering the awkward mood surrounding them at the moment.

“So…where’re you from anyway, huh?” Lovino asked, flopping down onto the bed. “I mean, you have an accent, alright. Definitely, dammit. You from Spain or something?”

“Yeah,” Antonio said, grinning. “I lived in Spain with my parents and siblings. Few years ago, I moved to study here in America.”

 _America?_ Lovino wrinkled his nose. He sighed. “Huh. So you’re not familiar with how things are here, then?”

“I’m…learning.” Antonio shrugged, and Lovino couldn’t help but notice he had dimples. And that Antonio had a pretty cute smile.

Not that Lovino cared, of course. Oh, no, _no_ , _no_. _That shit’s too gay_ , he thought to himself.

Although Antonio did kind of look like the type who was _definitely_ experienced with relationships. Both platonic and romantic.

“You’re Italian, aren’t you?” Antonio asked. “You’ve also got a bit of an accent, I noticed.”

Lovino nodded. “Yeah, I used to live in Italy with my family when I was little. And then we moved to this hellhole.”

“You don’t like it here?”

“Well, not as much as I liked it back where I used to live. It’s blah here.”

Antonio chuckled. _“Blah?”_

“It’s boring. It’s not much.” Lovino bit his lip. “It’s…plain.” But it was only natural he didn’t like it here, right? Someone as hard to please as him.

“Hey, look.” Antonio stood up and began to walk towards Lovino.

“The line,” Lovino snapped, glaring at him. “This is my side.”

“Oh, sorry. Yeah, um…you know, college seems tough, I know. But…I’ve been here for two years. You’re young, you’re a freshman-“

“I’m not that much younger than you, stupid.”

Antonio winced. “Ehhh, yeah. You’re eighteen, right?”

“Duh.” Lovino held out a cigarette. “Want one?” Antonio smiled and shook his head.

“No, thanks. I don’t smoke. Point is, college is…an adventure.”

“Ah, this cheesy shit again. Don’t wanna hear it.”

“Lovino…”

“We just _met,_ for fuck’s sake,” Lovino groaned, lighting his cigarette. “I don’t need a fucking pep talk. I’m here to get some fucking education – and to just get it done and over with.”

“Right.” Antonio gave a small sigh, a hint of disappointment in his voice. “Sorry.”

Lovino walked over the space lined in red tape on the floor, and Antonio raised his eyebrows. Lovino caught sight of the small action and glared at him again. “What, you have something to say?”

“Nothing, I was just going to make a joke about how you’re walking on my space.”

“Cool. I made the rules, not you. I get to break them.” Lovino picked up the notebook sitting beside Antonio’s bag on the floor. “What’s this shit?”

“Oh, just story ideas.” Antonio ran a hand through his curly hair. “I write fiction.”

“Huh.” Lovino flipped through the pages. Damn, these were just ideas? He hated to admit it, but the guy sure was good at what he did. “You write a lot of shit about love.”

Antonio nodded, and Lovino could’ve sworn he saw him blush. “Yeah.”

Lovino gave a teasing smirk, and gently elbowed him. “Huh, so you do have experience?”

“I did,” he laughed. “You’re not the only one who’s had a history of lovers, you know. I’m just not…a playboy like you, I guess.”

A playboy? Lovino nearly laughed out loud, but he stopped himself. It would be out of character, he thought. “So you have a girlfriend? Or what, you’re gay? I wouldn’t be surprised if you are.”

“Aha! You’re the one who’s asking personal questions now!”

“Well, at least I don’t look through my roommate’s photos of past hoes.”

 _“Past hoes?”_ Antonio giggled. Lovino rolled his eyes.

“You know what I mean, dammit.”

Within only an hour of meeting his new freshman roommate, there were already many things Antonio learned about Lovino, he realized. One of the most prominent and obvious being that Lovino liked to curse. A lot. And that his favorite words were probably ‘dammit’ and ‘bastard’. And that he appeared to be popular with girls. And rich. And that he flaunted it and bragged about his wealth.

To others, Lovino might’ve seemed like an unlikable person, Antonio thought. But his snarky personality made him want to befriend him even more.

Antonio smiled to himself. “You wanna go get some food? One of the most important things about starting off with college life is meeting new people.”

“To hell with meeting new people,” Lovino snorted, taking the cigarette out of his mouth. “I just want some fucking pizza.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Guys, where’s the dining hall again?”

“Gilbert, you can’t have forgotten where it is. You’ve been going here for two years!”

“I wonder where Lovino is…”

Antonio bit his lip and looked around for him, but the grumpy brunet was nowhere to be seen. His friends both sighed in unison, and Gilbert shook his head.

“You’re seriously trying to be friends with that guy? _Lovino Vargas?”_ he asked, seemingly in disbelief. Antonio tilted his head to the side.

“Why? Is there something wrong?”

Gilbert bit his lip. “Dude. You didn’t take the hint when you were talking to him?” He narrowed his eyebrows and lowered his voice to a whisper. “He’s a playboy, dude! And an asshole. You know, right, Francis?” He turned to the taller boy. “You went to the same high school as him.”

“I don’t think ‘asshole’ would be the best way to describe him,” Francis laughed, tying his shoulder-length blond hair into a low ponytail. “He’s just moody. Well, more than just moody, actually, but he’s not an asshole. If I had to be honest, I actually felt sorry for him.”

“Sorry?” Gilbert snorted. “The kid probably fucked every girl in the grade. Minus the ones he probably thought were ugly.”

Antonio made a face. “Don’t you think it’s kind of distasteful to judge someone based on whether they’ve had premarital sex or not?” Francis and Gilbert nearly burst into laughter, and Antonio let out a sigh.

_“Premarital sex?”_ Francis laughed. “That’s too much, Antonio, I’m sorry.”

Gilbert sucked in a breath, trying to contain his giggles. “Dude. You aren’t even a virgin anymore! You _definitely_ aren’t! What’s all this shit about ‘premarital sex’?”

“Look, he isn’t that bad,” Antonio sighed, looking down at the floor. “Sure, he pushed me away a few times, but he actually agreed to have lunch with me. Isn’t that _something?”_

“He’ll probably ditch you,” Gilbert muttered under his breath. “For his jock friends. Or lipstick-coated blonde whores.” Antonio glared at him with slight annoyance.

“ _Jocks?_ What are you, fourteen?”

“You know what I mean.” Gilbert’s phone clattered onto the floor for what seemed like the fourth time this week. “Oops.”

“That’s going to break eventually if you keep that up. Well,” Francis said, stuffing his phone back into his pocket, “maybe we should actually go and get some food. Instead of coming up with conspiracy theories about Antonio’s new roommate. Save the tea for when we’re settled down at a table.” He winked and kept walking. Gilbert groaned, and Antonio let out a sigh of relief and gave Francis a small smile, indicating a silent thanks.

\--

“Haaaaaarruuuuuu. Listen to meeeeee.” Lovino glared at the boy, who was busy playing Animal Crossing. “Put the fucking Switch down, dammit. What, will it kill you to listen to me rant for once? What’re ya gonna do, kill me in Japanese?”

“Not listening to you,” Haru replied calmly, continuing to play his game. He looked up slightly, eyeing Lovino. “All you’re doing is complaining about a guy who actually seems pretty nice. It kinda makes you look mean. No offense.”

People _already_ think I’m mean, Lovino thought, letting out a tired sigh. _They know I’m mean._ “Well, you’re basically the first person I talked to when I got here, so…”

“Aw, man, you still don’t wanna call me your friend?” Haru pouted. Lovino snorted.

“Not when we’ve only known each other for like, three fucking hours.”

“Man, you say ‘fuck’ a lot, don’t you?”

“Shut the fuck up.” Lovino slumped down at the table and groaned. “This is fucking retarded. Why do I have to have a roommate like _him_?”

Haru opened his instant ramen cup and looked down as he split the wooden chopsticks into two. “I bet you’d still be pissed if you had me as your roommate instead, actually.” He split them and grinned. “Yesssss!”

“What?”

“I split them evenly!”

“…So?”

The Japanese boy sighed. “Whatever. Anyway, point is, I don’t see the problem with having a guy like that as your roommate. He’s older than you, of course he’s going to want to look out for you.” Haru frowned, picking the noodles up with the chopsticks. “Actually, I wish I had a roommate who’s like that. Nice and all.”

Lovino raised his eyebrows. “Who’s yours?”

“This weird albino guy named Gilbert.” He sipped the noodles and saved his game, before stuffing it back into his bag. “He gives me former delinquent vibes, actually.”

“Former delinquent?”

Haru shrugged. “I mean, it looks like he used to like getting into fights and stuff. Whatever. But he’s pretty cool, I guess. Just narcissistic.”

Lovino smirked. “Like you.”

“By the way,” Haru said, tapping his fingers against the table, “aren’t you supposed to be sitting with your roommate or something? You said you would.”

The brunet grimaced. “Shit.” His eyes widened, and he quickly shook his head. “Not that I care or anything, but I said I would, so…I guess I’ll go. Even though I’m ten minutes late, dammit.”

“I don’t think he’d mind,” Haru replied with a smile. “But I think it’d make him happy to see you there.”

\--

Antonio broke into a big smile, and looked up at Lovino, who quietly sat down in front of him. “Oh, you made it! Are you alright? You were trying to find the dining hall, right?” He gasped. “Ah, I forgot to show you around! Ahh, I’m sorry…”

“I don’t really care,” Lovino mumbled. “I already ate. I’m fine.” If he had to be honest, he felt bad for leaving Antonio to wait for him, but he tried to brush the guilt away. “So…you were waiting for me? For like, fifteen minutes…”

“It’s fine!” Antonio said, smiling. Lovino tried not to smile himself – which for some reason, seemed pretty fucking hard at this point. It was as if Antonio’s smile was contagious or something, goddammit. The man was like a personification of the fucking _sun_ itself – always showing off that bright smile of his.

_Too bright,_ Lovino thought, still frowning. How could someone _smile_ so much, dammit? Well, then again, it wasn’t as if Lovino could smile at all, really. At least, nobody’s ever seen him do it.

Still deep in thought, he looked down at his shoes. This guy…what would be the best way to describe him, anyway? Boring? Well, that was his first impression of him, after all. Fucking farm boy. Bland, really. But there was something different about him from other people he had met.

Perhaps it was that Antonio actually had the patience to talk to him and continue to persist in trying to befriend him, something others would give up on after only knowing Lovino for one minute. Others would just lose their shit and leave him be.

Well. Being alone was fun, anyway, he thought. Not exactly fun, really, but…tolerable. Fine. In high school, it was rare for him to be alone, anyway. He was like a fucking _girl magnet_ or something. He was popular with boys, too.

It was a shame that he was still trying to figure out who exactly he was and what he wanted to really do. Always so inconsistent, that was what people always said whenever they decided they were done with him and his shit.

“I like your shoes,” Antonio said. “They look expensive.”

Lovino snorted. “Of course they are. As is everything else I wear.” And there it was again – the antisocial vibe. This was why people weren’t really interested in hanging out with him – rather, they were only interested in his money and looks. He was just so hard to talk to.

“I’m trying…” Lovino mumbled quietly to himself, forgetting that Antonio was still sitting in front of him. Antonio tilted his head to the side.

“Sorry, what did you say? I couldn’t hear, ahaha…”

“That’s none of your concern.” Lovino stood up and kicked the chair towards the table, startling a few girls at the table beside them. “I have class now.”

“Oh, what class do you have?”

“Art and Design.”

Antonio grinned. “It suits you.”

“How?” Lovino scoffed, rolling his eyes. “You’ve only known me for two hours or so.”

“I just think it does.” Antonio shrugged, trying to brush off the awkward mood. It really was difficult to talk to someone like Lovino while maintaining his patience, but he was determined to get the younger boy to settle down with his new lifestyle. “Anyway, I have Creative Writing now. Good luck with your first class!”

“Whatever.” Lovino picked up his bag and walked away. He quickly glanced back to see Antonio still standing there, smiling at him.

Lovino grimaced again and tried to ignore him, but he couldn’t help but think – maybe this whole roommate shit wouldn’t be so bad, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! thank you for reading this trash of a fic haha,,, i decided i'd get back to writing again.
> 
> my previous fics are most likely discontinued now,, i just have zero motivation to write any more of them because my writing style is erueurghgh and not to mention the plot is kind of going nowhere. this fic will probably just be crack and fluff but i'll probably write smut if i feel like it at one point :))
> 
> i'll try to post every day, but i might be busy because of school. see you in the next chapter!
> 
> -ren


	3. Chapter 3

The scent of smoke filled the room again, and Antonio was just ignoring it.

Well, trying to, at least. It was nearly overwhelming. Gilbert used to smoke when they first met, and Antonio was always trying to ignore the smell and stop himself from opening the window. Perhaps it was just that he wanted a clean environment when studying, but he didn’t say anything, as usual. Just smiled and shrugged it off.

That was something he was good at doing.

“The fuck you doing, staring at me like that?” Lovino grunted, taking the cigarette out of his mouth. “It’s creepy.”

Antonio sighed and opened his notebook. “Nothing.”

“If it’s nothing, you wouldn’t be staring at me. Be honest, stupid.”

 _I’m the stupid one?_ Antonio thought, shaking his head. He shrugged. “Ah, it’s just…do you always smoke in your room? At home, I mean.”

“Yeah, so?” Lovino snorted and tossed the burnt cigarette into the small trash can sitting at the corner. “What you writing, huh?”

Antonio tried not to laugh in irritation. So he’s supposed to be some tough guy? He inhaled, trying to ignore the fact that right now, Lovino was being one of the most annoying people he had ever met. “Just story ideas. I’m trying to write something about a love story that takes place in a work environment. Like an office, y’know?”

Lovino made a bored face and continued to scroll through his phone. “Don’t care. Sounds boring.”

The other boy tried not to make it obvious that he was about to lose his patience. _This guy…_ Still, he gave a warm smile and stood up to walk over to Lovino. Then he remembered – the red line. He didn’t want to piss him off again, so he sat back down on the bed and grabbed his laptop and books. “So…do you want to go to the library or something?”

“I can’t smoke in the library, dumbass,” Lovino replied, flopping down in bed. “And I look like shit. I smell like it, too.” He wrinkled his nose. Antonio laughed.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t smoke, then.”

“You can’t tell me what to do.”

Antonio couldn’t help but think that based on his logic…this boy was actually rather childish. “Well, I can’t exactly do that, you’re right. But I think I have a right to tell you what you _should_ do. Smoking is bad for you, you know.” He took the packet of cigarettes away and stuffed it into his pocket with a smile.

The younger boy gaped at him, his mouth hanging open to say something, but he shut it and blinked in disbelief. Was this guy for real? But there wouldn’t be any use arguing, really. After all, at this rate, it seemed like there was no stopping him.

“Fine,” Lovino muttered under his breath in irritation. “But I don’t have much to wear.”

“What?” Antonio teased. “But during breakfast and lunch break, you spent so much time flaunting your new shoes! Not to mention your expensive designer clothing, too!”

“Obviously, when _you’re_ wearing that 80s farm getup!” Lovino retorted, trying not to giggle or smile. Which again, was hard, considering for some reason Antonio’s smile seemed to be contagious. “Look at you, cheap Target jeans, gingham check shirt, and all!”

Antonio grinned. “You’re just shy, aren’t you? You’ve never gone out with friends?”

“O-of course I have, you bastard! W-whatever, I’ll go change…”

“Waah- your hair flipped on my face! Some ponytail you’ve got there!”

“Hah, serves you right.” Lovino stuck out his tongue playfully, and Antonio couldn’t help but blush. Sure, he gave off unpleasant vibes at first. Even now, actually. They’ve only known each other for a day, but it already seemed like he was taking a liking to his new roommate.

It made him want to be his friend even _more_ , he thought.

\--

“So you always stay here? And just…write? And read?”

Antonio smiled. “Yeah, it’s nice. You should try it sometime.” The library was nearly empty today.

“Yawn.” Lovino rolled his eyes. “I’d rather not. Seems like a waste of free time.”

“What do you even do in your free time?” Antonio asked, tilting his head to the side. “I’m curious, actually. Other than smoke.”

“I used to hang out with friends in the streets. We’d do shit that you probably wouldn’t approve of.” He shrugged and looked down. “I…don’t have those friends anymore, actually.”

“Sounds like a good thing.”

“Or rather, I don’t have any friends. Not anymore.”

Antonio stopped smiling, and leaned forward. “Hey. That’s not true, okay?”

“It’s fine,” Lovino mumbled. “I don’t care.” The antisocial aura was only getting stronger, he thought. Antonio shook his head and put his book down.

“I’m not going to just back down and stop talking about this, you know,” he said. “You have friends.”

Lovino put his head down on the table and lowered his voice to a whisper, his voice quivering slightly. “No, I don’t. How the fuck would you know? You don’t know me.”

“Then I’ll be your friend,” Antonio said firmly. He sighed. “I…I don’t like seeing you like this.”

“Like _what_?” Lovino asked, not daring to lift his face up from the table to even look at Antonio. For all he knew, he’d just start crying, like the crybaby bastard he is. “I’m always like this. I’m never happy.”

Antonio put his hands on the desk. “Exactly. You’re never happy, and I don’t like it. I know we’ve only met very recently-“

“Twelve hours.”

“Well, yeah. But that doesn’t mean I’m just going to stand around and decide not to care. Stranger or not, I need to let you know that, well…” Antonio bit his lip and stared at the ceiling. “Well…you’re…you’re not alone, Lovino. There are people who care about you.”

“Like who?” Lovino mumbled, looking up slightly to glare at him. “You wouldn’t know.”

“Well, first of all, me.” The older boy tapped his fingers against the table. “Your parents would care.”

“My parents want me to take over the fucking family business. I know that for sure.”

“They care about you, Lovino,” he pleaded. “They want you to do well right now, so that you’ll have a broad future. Do you have siblings?”

“Two. Both younger.” Lovino wiped his eyes.

“Well, they care about you, too!” Antonio gave a small smile. “And you have that boy who sat with you at the dining hall at the beginning of the day, too! He looked like he wanted to be friends with you.”

“He did.”

“Well, there you go!”

“And he was annoying as fuck. Loud, too.”

Antonio inhaled and put his face into his hands, deep in thought. This boy, it seemed, was never going to learn. That is, if he didn’t have someone to help him along the way. The boy needed _friends_ , for fuck’s sake. But it was going to be difficult for someone with such a cranky and antisocial mindset to be able to find them.

Well, then that meant that at this point, he had to _convince_ Lovino to let him be his friend.

“Tell you what,” he said, putting a hand on Lovino’s shoulder.

Lovino flinched. “Don’t touch me.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Antonio sighed. He started to smile again, and Lovino could feel that same warm feeling he had felt when Antonio was joking around with him before they headed out for the library. He tried to disregard it.

“Anyway, what do you want, exactly?” Lovino asked, frowning. “Make it quick. If people start to actually arrive in here, we’re dead. We’re fucking _loud_ , dammit.”

“In that case, let’s go outside, hm?”

“Whatever.”

\--

“I’ll be your friend for a month, and you decide within that time on whether you like it or not.”

“Okay…” Lovino bit his lip and looked down, before looking back up at Antonio. He shook his head. “Nope. Don’t like it.”

“Uh-uh. You can’t do that. You can only decide at the end of this month.”

Lovino grimaced. “What’s the point, anyway? What’re you trying to play at, dammit?”

“If you decide you want to be my friend, after all, then sure!” Antonio grinned. “I’m all up for that. But if you don’t want to, then…” Lovino looked like he was listening eagerly for what was to come next, and Antonio gave a light laugh.

“Then in that case,” he continued, “I’ll leave you alone. If that’s what you want.”

“Really.” Lovino looked unconvinced. Antonio nodded.

“Really. So give it a go, okay? Think about it tonight. We’d better head back to the dorms.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! and thank you to my friend (@beautyguruchina on instagram) for suggesting the name of this fic and helping me out :)) thank you to my other friend (@iggyw0rmm on instagram) for helping me come up with ideas for the fic! you two are the best!! i'll continue to do my best in writing this fic!! i can't wait to write more about lovino and antonio and their opposite personalities and antics, haha!
> 
> \- ren


	4. Chapter 4

Antonio walked around his side of the room, pacing back and forth. “We should set up some rules, actually,” he said.

_“Rules,”_ Lovino repeated sarcastically. “How fun.” He sat up and stared at the other boy. “Like what?”

“Well, we can start with _no smoking_ ,” Antonio joked, “but we’ve already taken care of that, hm?”

“You mean _you’ve_ already taken care of that,” Lovino snorted. It irritated him to even think about how Antonio took away the box of cigarettes, and he couldn’t even do anything about it. He smirked. “Okay, how about I come up with some rules too, then?”

Antonio laughed. “As long as they’re valid.”

“Yeah, yeah.” The brunet rolled his eyes. “Okay, how about…no coming in if the door’s locked.”

“And why’s that? I’m afraid that won’t be possible,” Antonio said, raising his eyebrows. “This is _our_ dorm, after all.”

“I-I mean, if I tell you not to come in, like via text or something,” Lovino quickly said. “I mean as in, don’t come in if I need privacy or something. Like…like…if I’m doing…” His face reddened. Was Antonio even going to take the hint?

“…”

“…” The awkward tension was building fast, and Lovino wanted to do something about it. “Y-you know…in bed…” His face went hot. “Alone…”

Antonio raised his eyebrows again, and he clapped his hands together. “Ohhh!”

Lovino gave a slight nod of embarrassment, and Antonio bit his lip.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” Antonio’s face was red too now, and the two were silent again. He nodded. “Gotcha. Man problems.”

“Yeah. Man problems.” Lovino felt like he was close to sweating bullets now, he was desperate as _fuck_ to change the topic. “Also, we can’t snoop through each other’s shit. Like what you did when we met.” He glared at Antonio, who gave a sigh of guilt.

“Hmm, yeah, sorry about that.” He nodded and wrote in his notebook. “Yep, got that. Anything else?”

“No asking about each others’ romantic relationships. Shit like that. No personal questions.”

“Okay, how about…no talking about sex?”

“Yep, that can be Rule 5.”

“No bringing in girlfriends or boyfriends to our dorm when the other person is away. No sex.”

“Yep, yep, yep. How about ‘no swearing?’”

Lovino made a face. “Ew. Unrealistic much?”

“Yeah,” Antonio agreed. “I agree. I wouldn’t be able to fucking _live_ if I couldn’t say the word ‘fuck’ at all.”

“Oh my God,” Lovino said, gaping at him, nearly smiling. “Did you really just say ‘ _fuck’_?” He was trying not to laugh.

Antonio grinned. “I sure fucking did.” Lovino slipped out a giggle, and Antonio raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Did you just-“

“No, no, and _no_ ,” Lovino quickly said, returning to his default frown. “Forget that happened. It was a mistake.”

_A very cute mistake_ , Antonio thought to himself. As Gilbert and Francis would say, though, _no homo._

“Ah, fuck,” Lovino said, sighing. “We need to sleep, dammit. It’s getting late.”

Antonio nodded, a big smile on his face like usual. “Yep! We have yet another big day tomorrow.”

“I’ll go change, then,” Lovino mumbled, taking off his shirt. “I’ll just sleep in underwear tonight. Can’t be bothered to wear pants, dammit.”

“Ahaha, fair enough.” Antonio smiled. “Sleep well.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Oh, and Lovino?”

“What?”

“Will you warn me when you’re about to smile? I never knew someone’s smile could be so… _magical_. Almost killed me, you know.”

“…”

“…?” Antonio tilted his head to the side and smiled.

Lovino smirked. “You forgot to say ‘no homo’.” His roommate gasped.

“Ah, that’s right!” he exclaimed. “Noooooo…homoooooo.”

“That’s more like it. Now sleep, bastard.”

Antonio’s made Lovino think. A lot. More than he thought he would, dammit.

What exactly did he mean? When he said that Lovino’s smile was ‘magical’? He lay in bed under the covers, cheeks puffed in thought. He groaned. The fuck did he mean? The ‘no homo’ didn’t make it any better, either. How could someone say ‘no homo’ after saying something so…

…

… _Gay?_

…Was that the right word?

Lovino shook his head in frustration. If Antonio really said something with, well…’gay’ intentions (was that the right word for it, though?) , then…

…Well, he wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out that Antonio really was gay. Or pansexual, or bisexual, whatever. It was obvious, anyway.

Maybe he really just meant it in a friendly way, It had only been a day since they met, after all.

\--

The next few days didn’t feel as much different as the first day, Lovino thought to himself as he lay in bed. He just wasn’t motivated to do anything, for the past week or so.

He frowned. What did college kids do on the weekend, anyway? Was it going to be like high school again, where he’d just lie in bed, doing nothing?

Well, it wasn’t always like this, actually. There was a point where he’d go out for parties and such, but that was in the past now.

What would Antonio be doing today?

_Wait,_ he thought, his face twitching in frustration. Why was he even _thinking_ about the bastard? He wrinkled his nose. Antonio was so… _boring._ Bland, even.

Lovino sat up and looked over on the other side. Antonio must’ve gone out or something – not that he cared or anything, though. He was actually trying to avoid him _. The bastard’s messing with my head_ , Lovino thought to himself, frowning. It was getting more and more irritating. It was as if Antonio was _brainwashing_ him – persuading him to be his friend.

He smirked and got out of bed, checking his phone. Well, it wasn’t working. Nope, not at all.

“It’s already humiliating enough that he saw me cry yesterday…” Lovino sucked in a breath, the irritation now becoming visible on his face. _“Shit!”_ He kicked at the desk.

“Lovino?” Antonio opened the door and walked in. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked, concerned.

“No, I’m not.” Lovino glared back at him. “Are you dumb, or what? Do I _look_ fucking okay?” He walked back to bed and pulled the covers over his head. “Go away. I’m in a bad mood. Which should already be obvious, but you’re too dense to realize!” His rant was followed by him kicking at the wall.

_He might annoy the people in the rooms next to us_ , Antonio thought, sighing. “Okay, okay, look. Tell me what happened.”

Teary-eyed and red-faced, Lovino peeked from under the covers to glare at him. “Don’t wanna.”

“Okay, that’s fine,” Antonio said, sighing. “But you can talk to me if you want, okay?”

“Well, I don’t want to.”

“Okay.”

The awkward silence was pissing Lovino off more and more, and he sat up. “I’m…fucking dumb, you know,” he mumbled. “You shouldn’t have seen me crying like that yesterday.”

That’s what it was? Antonio shook his head. “There’s nothing wrong with having a good cry.” He smiled and put his hand over the covers, where Lovino was lying down.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Lovino whispered, his lip quivering. “I told you before.”

“I’m sorry.”

And don’t fucking say _sorry_ all the time, Lovino thought. He looked up at Antonio. “I’m…I’m actually kind of bored,” he mumbled. “This shithole. I don’t think I’ll get used to it.”

Antonio laughed. “You live in a big house, don’t you? I do remember you mentioning it.” Countless times, actually. It appeared that Lovino liked to flaunt his riches.

“Well, duh.” Lovino wiped his eyes and sniffled. “Ah, shit. I’m crying again.”

“And that’s okay,” Antonio said, smiling. “Do you want a hug? I can give you a hug. We can go shopping for things for the room, if you want.”

“First of all,” Lovino replied, “that shit’s for homos. But I do want to do shit with the room, actually. It looks really…”

“Shit. I know.” Antonio laughed, opening his bag. “I’ll just change, then I’ll wait for you outside.”

Lovino snorted. “If all of your clothes are in _there_ , then I assume you’ll be wearing the same three outfits every week or so, dammit.”

“Awh, that’s taking it a bit far, don’t you think? I told you, I’ll buy more…”

“Hmph.”

\--

“You’re not still mad at me, are you?”

Folding his arms, Lovino gave Antonio a smirk. “For what? Could be _anything,_ you know. You sure as hell pissed me off this week. And I’ve only met you.”

But he’s so hard to please, Antonio thought, trying not to laugh. “I mean…for everything. Every dumb thing I did to piss you off. Looking through your photos and asking about them. Crossing the line in the room multiple times.”

“About that line,” Lovino said, sighing. “I’m thinking about doing something about it, actually. It’s pretty fucking ugly.” Gotta have that aesthetic room, goddammit.

Antonio grinned. _Yesssss._ The red tape lined across the room had been bugging him for the past few days. “So, are you finally thinking about the whole ‘friend’ thing?”

“No.”

He stopped smiling. “Aww, why not?”

“Cos we’ve only met, and it’s been only a week since we did,” Lovino replied, standing up. “C’mon, stupid. The train’s at our stop.” Anything to halt that sort of conversation, he thought, gritting his teeth in annoyance.

\--

“We should start off with something simple, like a lamp,” Antonio said. “How about we go to a cheaper store, so we can save money? Haru recommended Daiso.”

Lovino snorted. “If I’m going to be sleeping in this room,” he said, pulling out his wallet, “we need quality furniture. Ikea for the fucking _win_.”

The color slightly drained from Antonio’s face. “B-but…isn’t that a bit…expensive?”

“Not for me, it isn’t.”

“But I feel bad…I’ll buy some of it too, if you want.”

“You won’t be able to afford anything besides those little Ikea pencils,” Lovino laughed. Antonio rolled his eyes.

“C’mon, I get I don’t dress like you and all, and I prefer cheaper options, but I’m not _that_ poor. I’d actually consider myself average.” He laughed and patted him on the shoulder, causing Lovino to flinch again and glare up at him. Antonio raised his eyebrows. “Oh. No touch. Sorry. Anyway, shouldn’t we buy our own furniture for our own sides…?”

“But you’d end up having a hobo room, and I’d feel bad.”

“Oh, my God.”

“I’m only kidding, you bastard. I’m not _that_ mean.” Lovino shrugged, and zipped up his hoodie. “And because I’m such a good guy, I’m going to help you pick out some not-so-shitty furniture.”

_A good guy_ , Antonio thought, laughing. Though he couldn’t really tell if it was sarcasm or not, coming from Lovino, it was at least something.

\--

“You brought a list, didn’t you?”

“No. I just picked out shit and bought them.”

“Huh?!” Antonio raised his eyebrows, his eyes widening. “Then…but…you’ve been with me the whole time! And we’ve barely started – we’ve only been here for fifteen minutes…”

“Oh, my parents bought everything for us. They’re getting the servants to move in the shit into our room. So basically, now we have a snazzy new desk, a TV area, an actual TV, a PC, and…” He shrugged. “Well, our room was basically bare except for the bed and the drawers, but yeah. We have everything now.”

Antonio gave a sigh. “But then…what are we even doing outsi-“

“Because I was bored, and you said you’d do something about it.” Lovino pulled the hoodie over his head. “We’re outside already, so we can do stuff or whatever.”

“Really?” Antonio exclaimed, a big smile on his face. He narrowed his eyes. “Or are you just kidding again…”

“Nah, it’s legit this time, you bastard. Get a grip, dammit. Don’t start crying and praising me like a saint.”

“Ah…you really aren’t going to give in, hm?”

“Nope.”

“Ohhhh, it’s you!” a loud voice exclaimed. Haru was standing a few meters away, waving at them. “Hey, you guys!” Beside him were two other people – a tall blond guy with glasses, and a short (but rather busty) Asian girl.

“Brooooooooooo!” the blond guy yelled, running towards them. “It’s you! The guy who spazzed during drama class!”

Antonio raised his eyebrows and stared at Lovino, pointing at the boy. “You know him?”

“Yeah,” Lovino sighed. “He’s Alfred. Loud and annoying. Way too much fucking energy. Speaks with a really annoying and exaggerated American accent.”

“Like Sonic?”

“Yeah. Oh, and he got in trouble for sneaking a shitload of snacks into class.” Lovino rolled his eyes. “Who does he think he is, a high school student?”

“Incorrect! _Bzzt_!” Alfred made an ‘X’ sign with his arms, a big grin on his face. “I actually think I have the mentality of a six-year old, so you’re a few years off, man.” The girl gave a tired sigh of annoyance and stepped forward, folding her arms.

“Excuse him and his bullshit,” she said, glaring at him. “Hmm, yeah. My name is Clarisse,” she continued, making eye contact with Antonio, “and I know both of you, and I don’t like _either_ of you.”

Antonio frowned. “Well, that’s only natural. You never did like me.”

“Cos you bully meeeee!” Clarisse groaned. “Why’d ya have to go and be ‘Mr. Perfect’ and get everyone in our family to like YOU?”

“Maybe if you studied, they wouldn’t be calling you lazy all the time,” he replied calmly. The two glared at each other, and Lovino tilted his head in confusion.

“Who the fuck…?” he whispered. Haru grinned.

“They’re second cousins. And they’ve always had some sort of rivalry going on, except usually it’s Clarisse wanting to start a fight, and Antonio flexing his smarts on her.”

“My god,” Lovino snorted. “More stupid people.”

Haru shrugged. “You’re welcome to hang out with us anytime, you know. Hey!” He called back to the others, waving his hands. “How does tomorrow sound? At my place, ten in the morning? Antonio, you can come, too.”

Antonio looked up from his phone. “Can Lovino come?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Yeah! Sounds good!” Alfred yelled back. Clarisse shrugged.

“I’m fine with it, too. We can play Minecraft.”

“Lovino?” Antonio asked, smiling. “You wanna come?”

“No,” he retorted, stuffing his hoodie into his backpack. “I’m not gonna hang out with a bunch of dumb nerds who still seem to think they’re in high school. They look like they came straight out of _The Big Bang Theory_. And I’m leaving, so if you’ll excuse me, I don’t have the fucking time to talk to you people anymore, as of today.” Lovino looked back at Antonio. “If you’re not coming, then you can meet me at the dorms.”

Alfred glared at him, adjusting his glasses. “Man, what’s wrong with him? Besides, _The Big Bang Theory_ is a damn good show.”

“Rude,” Clarisse snorted. Antonio sighed and walked beside Lovino, looking back to wave at the others.

_What the hell’s up with them_ , Lovino thought, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Getting all friendly and touchy-feely with Antonio, even though they barely know him – what was _that_ all about?

He stopped in his tracks. Why was he even thinking about _Antonio_ , anyway?

If anything, the only thing he should be concerned about is the fact that _his own_ image would be fucking _tarnished_ if he hung out with them, goddammit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovino's being a bit mean, don't you think? Haha. Don't worry, he knows he is, and he feels a little bad about it, actually. I look forward to writing some fluff and crack next chapter - the meme gang is already starting to form. :))
> 
> \- Ren


	5. Chapter 5

“Has it really been a month and two weeks already since we met?” Antonio asked, smiling at Lovino. “So, have you made up your mind yet?”

_A month and two weeks?_ Lovino sighed and stared at the wall. Talk about being specific. Antonio must’ve been _too_ fucking determined to get Lovino to be his friend. “About what?” He dropped his textbooks to the ground, before kicking them back under the bed. “Oh, the friend thing.” Lovino untied his ponytail, letting his long hair fall over his chest. “Fuck. I should probably cut my hair. Oh, and um…I was thinking we could be…acquaintances or something. I feel bad. It’s like I’m your only fucking _friend,_ dammit.”

Antonio laughed and shook his head. This boy, honestly. It seemed like his ego was only growing the more he spent time with him. Which, if he thought about it, was kind of a good thing, because Lovino’s self esteem seemed to be crashing down when he met him, despite his constant bragging about his money and popularity with women. “I have other friends, you know. People I met before you, too.”

Lovino frowned. “Other friends? Yeah, I know. But they’re weird, dammit.” He smirked and sat up in bed, crossing one leg over the other. “You’re lucky I’m even considering this shit, you know. Being your friend and all. What’s the big deal, talking about your other friends and all? I barely know them. I’m always hanging out with you. Which is weird. _Really_ weird.”

“Sounds like someone’s jealous,” Antonio teased.

“T-that’s definitely not it,” Lovino said, his face reddening. “I’m not lonely, you know. I like being alone most of the time, you know. Big crowds piss me off. And you’re my acquaintance, not my friend.”

The teasing tone continued, making Lovino feel even more irritated. “Oh, is that soooo? Well, then, I guess today I’ll study with Francis in the library, instead.” The line was delivered so sweetly, it was as if Lovino could practically hear a smiley emoticon somewhere in there.

“Y-you can’t fucking do that, dammit. It’ll ruin the schedule, stupid. And that’s dumb, because then everything is wrong. And if everything is wrong, then that’s horseshit.”

“Haha, you’re red like a tomato.”

“Shut up…!” Lovino glared at him, and stood up. “Jeez. I’m gonna go change for the first class, dammit…”  
  


\--

“You know,” Alfred said, “I didn’t think you’d actually wanna hang out with us at all. You called us nerds.” He took a bite out of his (scarily large) hamburger and nodded. “And you called us bastards, too. And probably every other insult out there.”

“Well, I’m a nice person, so I’ll hang out with you,” Lovino retorted, sitting down at the table with everyone else. He thought it actually felt nice to hang out with a group of four other people, but of course he’d never say that out loud.

Clarisse snorted, and she opened the small packet of potato chips. “A ‘nice person’. Ha, that’s funny.”

“He’s trying,” Antonio laughed. “It’s something, at least.”

“The ladies always fall for me,” Lovino continued. “They just can’t resist me, I guess.”

Haru giggled and sipped up the ramen noodles. “Bet 90% of them are gold diggers.”

“You seem kind of lonely, actually,” Alfred teased. A mischievous grin spread across his face. “If you’re so popular with girls, it shouldn’t be hard to find a girlfriend.”

Lovino shook his head. “I’m done with love, actually. Been there, done that.” It was true that he had many romantic relationships in the past, but he still couldn’t help but feel like he just told a lie. The more he thought about it, the less any of those past experiences actually even _seemed_ like love to him at all. “Yeah. Done with all of them.”

Clarisse shrugged. “Okay, girls can be a handful. Why not try guys instead, then?”

“I’m…not gay. You know that.”

“Sure, sure, straight as a pole, we’ve heard it all,” she sighed, waving her hand as though to silence him. “But you don’t know – you could have a secret side for men, maybe you just don’t know it yet. Anyone in particular come to mind at all?”

He thought for a few seconds. _This is stupid_ , Lovino thought, staring at the ground. He frowned down at his shoes. Why was he even taking the time to think about it? He could just be done with it, really. Just change the subject or whatever. Besides, nobody came to mind, whatsoever. The girl was just crazy, spitting out this love-talk and shit.

Well…

…There was maybe _one_ who came to-

No. Lovino clapped his hands to his cheeks, startling everyone else. _Snap the fuck out of it,_ he told himself, shaking his head. There was nobody. _Nope._

“You’ve actually been thinking for a while,” Antonio said, a small smile on his face. “Well? Anyone?”

“I told you, I’m not fucking _gay_ ,” Lovino snapped. “No. I was just…thinking about my assignment for Art & Design class.” He put his head down on the table, still thinking. But why? What was there to even think about, really?

It was just him. Not enough sleep. Staying up worrying about his assignments – the deadlines, the group work, everything. It was just all getting to his head – causing him to not think straight. That was what it was.

_Wasn’t like anybody would figure it out anytime soon, anyway,_ Lovino thought to himself. Only his brother knew, and that was how it was going to stay.

\--

“Can I come in?”

Lovino had locked the door of the room, and Antonio was waiting outside. Antonio had growing concerns over the boy lately – he had been quieter than usual for the past few weeks. It seemed like he wasn’t sleeping enough, either.

“Lovino?”

The door opened, and Lovino was standing there, wearing a worn-out T-shirt and boxer shorts. “What?”

“Can I come in? Class is over for the day.”

“Yeah. Whatever.”

Antonio walked inside the room, and shut the door behind them. He looked at Lovino, who was silently sitting on the bed of his side of the room. “You’re not okay, are you?”

“I’m fine, dammit.” He pulled the covers over himself and faced the other way. Heaving a long sigh, Antonio shook his head and walked over, crossing the line.

“No, you’re not.”

“And how can you tell?”

“Because you’re fucking _silent_ nowadays _,_ Lovino. Because you’re always hiding in here. Because a lot of the time now, you have zero motivation to even go to school. You don’t even want to sit with us anymore, I can tell.” Antonio softened his expression and sat beside Lovino’s bed. “It seems like you’re forcing yourself to sit with us. You don’t have to, you know. And it seems like you’re upset about a lot of things. Not to mention you’re probably hiding something.”

Lovino didn’t even move for a few minutes, but Antonio continued to stay by his side, waiting for an answer. Finally, after what seemed like a long time, Lovino gave a sigh. “My family wants me to take over the business someday, y’know. I told you already. Fucking _flaunted_ it. But I don’t actually want to. I want to do my own thing. I wanna be an actor. I wanna be good at art and shit like that.” He sat up in bed. “I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be anymore, Antonio.” Lovino couldn’t even believe Antonio figured out that something was up. Usually, he couldn’t read the atmosphere at all. He was _beyond_ dense.

“I know you’re probably gonna say something like, ‘follow your heart, blah blah blah’,” he continued, “but I can’t do that. My family…they won’t take any of that shit, dammit. I’ll need to take over the family business, no matter what. Or at least start up my own company. Not to mention I keep telling myself to keep up this tough exterior, that I don’t need friends, that I don’t need love…but I keep getting this feeling in my gut that tells me that all of that is bullshit.” Lovino groaned and shook his head in frustration. “I’m…sorry.”

Antonio sighed. “It’s okay, you know. You have nothing to be-“

“I do, you know. Not even kidding.” He was always like this, putting his problems on others. No wonder people found it hard to talk to him, let alone want to be his friend or even have anything to do with him.

Antonio realized that Lovino didn’t even yell at him for stepping over the space lined in red tape, but he disregarded it. “Hey, I’m not even going to ask this time, because I think you actually need it.” He wrapped his arms around him, hugging him close.

Lovino sighed. “I think I’m going to get some fucking sleep. I haven’t slept much in a while.”

“Give the assignment a rest for now,” Antonio agreed. He realized he was still hugging him, and he looked down. “Sorry. Do you want me to go?”

“Don’t say sorry all the fucking time, it’s getting annoying,” Lovino said quietly. He shook his head. “No. Stay here.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t think I want to be alone anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like writing scenes where Lovino opens up more to Antonio. :)
> 
> \- Ren


	6. Chapter 6

Lovino gave a sigh and walked into his house. He silently walked past his youngest brother, who was playing on his phone. His other brother, Feliciano – who was only younger by a year – was sitting by his desk, studying.

“Oh, you’re home!” Feliciano exclaimed, standing up. “Welcome home, brother!” The younger boy had similar features to Lovino, except his hair was lighter – as well as his personality. “How’s college? Why’re you visiting home all of a sudden?”

“College is shit, first of all, and I’m ‘visiting’ because I actually live here, stupid,” Lovino replied, putting down his bag. Feliciano smiled, obviously used to his elder brother’s ways.

“You’ve been happier ever since you started sharing a room with Antonio,” Feliciano said, grinning. “I’ve noticed.”

Lovino made a face and flopped down in bed, which seemed to be his default move whenever he arrived home. “The hell do you mean?” He was always frowning, after all.

“You don’t cry anymore – not as much as you used to. You’re also more motivated to study harder – which is definitely new. You’re always talking about him, too.”

Shit, he was sharp. Or maybe Lovino was just shitty at hiding things. “Oh. Well, yeah. I’m always talking shit about him.” He sat up. “How do you think I’d look with short hair?”

Feliciano nodded approvingly. “You had short hair when we were in grade school. I think you started growing it out in our second year of middle school, so it’s definitely gotten longer.” He beamed. “Yeah, you’d look cute!”

“Hm.” Lovino let out another long sigh, and Feliciano continued to stare at him.

“You want to tell him, don’t you? You want to come out to him.”

Lovino groaned. Unlike Antonio, Feliciano always seemed to know what Lovino was thinking. The two could’ve been twins, really – only being a year apart in age. “I don’t know, people might find out…”

“You need to embrace who you are, you know.” Feliciano stopped smiling, and he sat down next to him. “It’s the 21st century.”

“Homophobia still exists, regardless of what century we’re in. And it always will.”

“Yeah, but all of that stuff doesn’t matter!” Lovino’s younger brother puffed out his cheeks in frustration. “I don’t get it! Why do people have to be like that…”

Lovino shrugged. “That’s just the way it is.”

“You just want to keep your flashy, in-crowd reputation from high school, don’t you?” Feliciano asked. “Is that what it is, Lovi?”

He bit his lip in thought, then shrugged again. “I really don’t know. Probably.”

Feliciano shook his head, and took his brother’s hands into his, squeezing them gently, a firm expression on his face. “Well, you should be yourself. College is about making new friends and meeting new people! Anything bad that happened in high school is all in the past. You gotta forget them! Those guys you hung out with back then? That’s not you. You get to decide who you are.”

“I know that,” Lovino sighed. How did Feli have so much…positivity? And self-esteem? Pretty much everything he didn’t have, actually. “I’ll tell him. Eventually.”

_Why him specifically?_ Feliciano thought, still smiling. It seemed Lovino only talked about Antonio, every time he called to talk about what was going on at school and such.

“It just doesn’t feel right,” Lovino mumbled. “You know, pretending to be straight, all these years.” It felt like he was lying to everyone – himself included. He stared back up at Feli. “Does Marcello know? Did you tell him?” The idea of his youngest brother knowing slightly worried him – what did twelve-year-olds even think about gay people, anyway? All he knew was that when he was at that age, he and everyone else thought that it was wrong – that it was crazy.

His brother shook his head. “No, he doesn’t know. You only told me, and I said I wouldn’t tell anyone, right?” He wanted to let Lovino come out on his own, after all.

Lovino breathed a sigh of relief. “Good. Because if Marcello finds out, then he’ll probably tell our parents.” That was what scared him – he didn’t even want to tell his parents whenever he had a new girlfriend in high school. They had always insisted that he focus on his studies and think about the family business rather than engaging in relationships – something that Feliciano followed.

Feliciano was always the one they were impressed by, too – so Lovino had been determined to do the same. He thought coming out as gay to them probably wouldn’t have helped, either. Who even knew what his parents’ opinions on that sort of thing were, anyway? It seemed vague, and he didn’t want to even think about it.

“I mean, I figured it out when I was sixteen,” he sighed. “I just thought about how none of my relationships felt…real.” Would Feliciano even understand, anyway? The boy had never even experienced love, right?

“That’s your ‘you wouldn’t understand’ face,” Feliciano replied. “You still think I’m single?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Wow.” He raised his eyebrows, his eyes widening. “Yeah, um. I thought I told you. I’m…dating Ludwig.”

Lovino wrinkled his nose. That tall German kid – the big one. The one who looked like he worked out a lot. He didn’t like him, but it was obvious that Feliciano definitely did. “Oh. The potato bastard.”

“I know you don’t like him,” Feliciano sighed. “But he’s nice, you know! He’s a little scary at first, but-“

“…Good night.”

“Waaahh, brother, listen to meeeee!”

“Noooopppeeee.”

\--

‘I don’t think I’m falling in love with him,” Lovino muttered. Nor did he think he was taking a liking to Antonio, either. But now he didn’t seem so sure about that last one. If he had to be honest – at this point, it was already fucking _hard_ to not smile too whenever Antonio was smiling – let alone _dislike_ the bastard.

He didn’t love him more than a friend, that was for sure. But there was just something charming about Antonio, he thought. Maybe it wasn’t just the lack of sleep or his head messing around with him.

It just…felt nice to know that there was someone who was _that_ determined to look out for him and ensure that he was happy, dammit.

He’d already given in, all right – to befriending Antonio and all that. He just…couldn’t say no.

Why, though? Lovino turned around in bed for what seemed like the millionth time, and he let out a long sigh of frustration. It just didn’t make sense. He and Antonio were practically polar opposites – and at first glance, when you considered the two different type of people they were, it didn’t seem like Antonio would be the type he’d become friends with, at all. They were just too different.

But no matter how much Antonio irritated him, with constant excitement, overflowing positivity, not to mention how fucking _dense_ he was…Lovino didn’t want Antonio to be hurt, or any kinds of sad, at all.

He felt like he never cared about someone so much before. Other than his brothers.

Lovino couldn’t help but feel like he wanted to _protect_ the bastard, goddammit.

Maybe that was Antonio’s way, actually. Maybe he was just trying to get Lovino to realize that he wasn’t the only person in the world. That being a selfish jerk wouldn’t get you anywhere in life. Maybe that was his goal, all along. But Antonio’s constant kindness seemed legit, actually. Very.

…It was fucking _overwhelming_.

\--

There were twenty-seven message notifications that greeted Lovino the next morning when he turned his phone on as soon as he woke up. As well as two calls.

And they were **_all_ **from Antonio.

“Good morning, brother!” Feliciano chirped cheerily, the usual bright smile on his face. He looked over at Lovino’s phone, stopping to squint at the screen. “Your phone’s been receiving all these notifications last night, y’know.”

“I put it on silent…” Lovino groaned, sinking further into the covers.

Feliciano grinned. “Who’re they from? Are you in a group chat or something?”

“No. I think the group I’m in doesn’t like me, actually,” he replied with a sigh, scrolling through the messages. “They’re all from Antonio.”

“Oh, you forgot to call him last night?”

“I was supposed to…?” Lovino frowned. It wasn’t like Antonio was his boyfriend or anything. Becoming friends with him wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, despite the fact that Antonio seemed overly enthusiastic. He stared at the texts.

\--

**_‘Hey, how are you? I’m at home with my brother. :) – [Antonio - 6:00 PM]’_ **

**_\--_ **

**_‘Are you sleeping well lately? Ahaha, I sound like a mother. I’m sorry. – [Antonio – 6:05 PM]’_ **

**_\--_ **

**_‘Am I good enough for you to consider me as your best friend? Haha, kidding. But seriously, think about it, okay? – [Antonio – 6:06 PM]’_ **

**_\--_ **

**_‘We should call! When you aren’t busy, haha. Make sure to spend good quality time with your brothers, okay? Say hi to your parents for me, too. – [Antonio, 6:10 PM]’_ **

**_\--_ **

****

Lovino rolled his eyes. What was with Antonio, sending so many messages? Didn’t he ever get bored, sending all of these texts without any response?

****

**_\--_ **

**_‘We should go shopping again sometime, you know! – [Antonio, 6:12 PM]’_ **

**_\--_ **

**_‘Waaaahhhh, I left the food cooking for too long ;;-;; it’s okay, though! I’m just waiting for your response :D – [Antonio, 6:30 PM]’_ **

**_\--_ **

What an idiot. Lovino couldn’t help but laugh. But…he really was waiting for that long? Man.

\--

**_‘I’m reaaaaaallyyyyyy desperate to be your best friend now. I was just looking at my other message and remembered, haha. Think about it, okay? But if you don’t want, then that’s okay, too. – [Antonio, 6:30 PM]’_ **

**_\--_ **

_Best_ friend? He snorted. The way he was wording his sentences – it was as if Antonio was desperate for him to be his _boyfriend_ , rather than just a best friend.

He texted like a teenage girl who was _extremely_ in love with her boyfriend, Lovino thought to himself, chuckling.

Lovino didn’t want anything more than friendship, though. That should’ve seemed obvious.

But it seemed like Antonio was…falling for him, actually. And not realizing it himself, like the dense bastard he is. Like Lovino, he just saw it as friendship. Kept telling himself that it was nothing but that, probably.

And it really was just friendship, he thought. Antonio was experienced with love, after all. He probably had some other lover hanging around that Lovino didn’t know about.

But who was he to care about shit like that, anyway?

“He likes you,” Feliciano suddenly said from behind him. Realizing that his brother was still reading the texts beside him, Lovino snapped from his train of thought, shaking his head.

“Well, I don’t know about that. Besides, I’m not interested. I only said I’d be his friend.”

Feliciano shrugged. “Nothing we can do about that, then. But I think he really likes you. More than a friend.”

Lovino snorted and pointed at the screen. “Key word – friend. He never said anything about loving me. There isn’t a single heart emoji in there, either.”

“Well, maybe he’s afraid to, Lovino.” His brother gave a gentle smile. “Maybe he’s worried you’ll get mad or something.”

Or maybe he doesn’t realize he likes me at all, Lovino thought. Which was strange, because it was incredibly obvious. It was just…there. And it kept getting more obvious as time passed by, the more they spent time together. But knowing how dense Antonio was, it was possible – and very likely that he wasn’t aware of his own feelings for Lovino.

After all, how could he realize anything about his own feelings – when he was always focusing on the feelings of others, rather than his own? It seemed like Antonio was always overworking himself, too. Mostly for the benefit of others, too.

“I’m a fucking _asshole,”_ Lovino mumbled. “I feel bad, you know. I never thought about it until now, you know.” The idea of Antonio having feelings for him. It just didn’t really come to his mind.

“I think he likes you for who you are,” Feliciano said, nodding. “He’s glad you’re making an effort to change, you know. I can tell.”

“You’ve never met him, Feliciano. Not in person, at least.”

“I can still tell. Especially in those messages, not to mention how persistent he is in trying to make you happy.”

Lovino didn’t answer, and continued to scroll through the messages. Each message was either Antonio giving words of encouragement, or asking Lovino about how he was doing, or if he was up for shopping together again sometime.

It really did seem like Antonio wasn’t interested in talking about himself at all.

He began to type in a message – he would feel bad if he just left him on read, just like that. After Antonio spent so much time to text him and wait for his response, even though it didn’t come. Lovino sighed. He didn’t even bother to check his phone – which was probably a good thing, considering Antonio wanted for him to spend more time with Feliciano and Marcello, but…

Lovino bit his lip and sent the message.

\--

**_‘sorry for not answering. talking with feli yesterday. you up for studying at the library today? leaving home rn. – [10:00 AM]’_ **

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a fluffier chapter this time. I hope to write more of the brothers ^^
> 
> \- Ren


	7. Chapter 7

They got kicked out of the library.

It was Lovino’s fault, actually. Antonio was writing a story for his assignment, and Lovino’s job was to come up with ideas and email them to him. But Lovino spent more time laughing at memes and spending time on the **/r/rareinsults** subreddit instead of actually researching. Even though he said he would actually help. Which didn’t really bother Antonio.

Until they both got sent outside, because Lovino accidentally unplugged his headphones, causing heavy metal to boom across the room.

“Wasn’t my fault,” Lovino muttered under his breath. There was something wrong with the sound, and he was trying to fix it. And then that happened.

Antonio laughed. “I’ve never been kicked out of the library before, actually.” Lovino glared at him.

“You’re making fun of me, aren’t you, you bastard?” He folded his arms in annoyance and looked away. Although, if it weren’t for him, they wouldn’t have gotten kicked out. Antonio actually had nothing to do with it – he just insisted he come along.

“I liked your story ideas, actually,” Antonio said, grinning. “Very intriguing.” He put a hand on Lovino’s shoulder. “How are your assignments going?”

“Fine,” Lovino mumbled. He was already getting used to Antonio constantly hugging him and patting him on the back. Since he agreed to be Antonio’s friend, it also meant that he gave permission for Antonio to do things like that. And he got rid of the red tape lined on the floor, too. “You’re always hugging me. It’s weird.”

Antonio frowned. “Weird? But we’re friends…and you said it was okay, too!”

Lovino blushed. “I said I _tolerate_ it.” But he did like it when Antonio hugged him, actually. His hugs were always warm. He opened his bag and took out a small box.

“What are those?”

“Cigarettes. Duh.” Lovino lit a cigarette and grinned. “Want one?”

Antonio pinched Lovino’s cheeks, startling him. “Nooooooooo! I told you, no smoking!” He glared at him. “You still bought them anyway! Bad Lovi!”

Lovino rolled his eyes. “We’re outside. It’s not inside. It’s fine. Let go of my face, dammit.”

“No, it’s not!” Antonio complained. “It’s bad for you…”

“Okay, chill. I’ll put them away. See? Gone.”

“Good.”

Lovino gave a sigh and frowned at the ground. Now that they were officially friends (it still sounded weird to him, though), a few things changed. Not only was Antonio more affectionate, but Lovino had his own share of ‘affection’, too. Which meant he followed Antonio on Instagram. With all of his accounts. And Antonio was confused as to why Lovino had four accounts, to which Lovino replied with, ‘One for publicity, one for art, one for privacy, and one for NSFW.’.

Antonio must’ve thought that by ‘NSFW’, Lovino meant nudes – because he started questioning on who was allowed to see it, and all that. Bastard was probably concerned or something. That Lovino’s nudes were probably floating around online. Which wasn’t true – well, not exactly. He used to sometimes exchange… _photos_ with a few girls here and there. Not actually post them. But that was in eleventh grade – back in high school. Besides, the account was private, anyway. 

And there seemed to be some sort of relief on Antonio’s face when Lovino told him that the account was no longer active and that it was just sitting around. Huh.

They were both planning to go shopping together on the next weekend, actually. And much to Antonio’s delight, Lovino offered to shop for clothes with him and give some fashion advice.

In return, Antonio decided to treat Lovino to eat out at a restaurant. It looked like he remembered Lovino’s love for pizza.

Antonio was delighted when he saw Lovino smile to that offer.

\--

“You’re so cute when you smile,” Antonio sighed, sitting up on his bed. “You should do it more often, you know.”

Lovino smirked. “Cute? Guys can’t be cute. And I’m a guy.”

“Oh, I’m going to have to tell you that you’re wrong there, my friend.” His roommate gave a light laugh. “I’ve met many cute guys in my lifetime, you know.” Antonio smiled. “You’re very cute when you smile. I could say this a million times.”

“Well, don’t. It’s gay.”

“And that’s okay.” Antonio giggled. “Oh, that rhymed!”

Lovino sighed. “You’re like a little kid.” It’s kinda cute, he thought to himself. Not in a homo way, though. Antonio was just a friend.

“Your hair’s really pretty,” Antonio commented, running his fingers through it. “It’s so long.”

“I…kind of want to cut it, actually,” Lovino mumbled, blushing. He untied the long ponytail, and let his long hair fall down his back. “I don’t know how it’d look, though.” He shot a glare up at Antonio. “Don’t say cute. Don’t even call me cute. I’m not cute, dammit.”

_It’s hard to not call you cute when you’re blushing like that, though_ , Antonio thought, smiling. “Okay, then I think it’d look cool! How short will you cut it?”

Lovino shrugged and flopped down in bed. “Don’t know, actually. What do you think?”

“I think you’d look cool with any hairstyle.” Antonio was already finding it hard not to call Lovino cute. Or anything like that. Especially with how cute he looked right now! Antonio bit his lip, trying not to stare at Lovino too much. Had he always seen Lovino this way?

He didn’t realize how adorable Lovino looked with his hair down, or when he smiled…

…Or _all_ the time, actually.

“Okay,” Lovino said, nodding. “I’ll go get it cut tomorrow, then.” He tried to ignore Antonio’s smile. Which was strange, because…what was there to ignore about that, anyway?

It wasn’t like Antonio’s smile was actually contagious or anything.

Or that it made him want to smile, too.

Or that it was fucking _adorable_.

_Mr. Sunshine himself_ , Lovino thought, smirking. They really were polar opposites, actually. Lovino nearly never smiled, while Antonio did it all the time. It was as if Antonio couldn’t live without smiling. Like he would die if he just suddenly stopped smiling.

Seeing Antonio frown was rare, though.

And Lovino never wanted to see him stop smiling, no matter what. Whenever Antonio stopped smiling, it always seemed like something was terribly wrong.

“Ugh, it’s fucking cold today,” Lovino groaned, rolling around in bed. He bit his lip and looked down at his phone, remembering that Antonio was sitting beside him. Just a month ago, he was always yelling at Antonio whenever he even accidentally stepped on his side of the room. And now it was like he didn’t care. What the fuck?

Antonio smiled. “You want a hug?”

“Don’t even try. Is that even a question?” Lovino was still biting his lip, as if to stop any more words from coming out. _Don’t,_ he told himself. _Don’t you fucking dare._ It was torturous, he thought, frowning. It was as if a ‘yes’ was trying its best to escape from his mouth.

“Ah, it was worth a try.”

“…”

Lovino reached forward, trying to put his hand over Antonio’s. He hesitantly pulled back, and inhaled, before giving in. He squeezed Antonio’s hand, and continued to hide his face in the blankets.

Antonio raised his eyebrows. “No?”

“…You really were just going to let me freeze,” Lovino snorted. “How _gentlemanly_ of you.” His voice reeked of sarcasm, but his face was the most red it had been in a while.

“Oh, sorry.” Antonio tightened his grip on Lovino’s hand and smiled. “…Yeah.”

Lovino didn’t reply, but he gave a slight nod, still under the covers. He slid his hand out of Antonio’s, then sat up and pulled the blanket off himself. Lovino looked down, as if he were trying to hide his expression.

Antonio’s eyes widened. “Lovino…?”

The younger man slowly moved forward, before subtly leaning on Antonio’s chest. He pulled the blankets over the two of them, and exhaled.

“Now it isn’t as cold anymore, dammit.”

_A rather rare sight to see, but still amusing,_ Lovino thought to himself, slightly looking up at Antonio. _The man is fucking **blushing.**_

\--

This is fucking bad, Lovino thought, fiddling with his hands frantically, as he always did whenever he was thinking intensely about something or worrying.

There was no way he was really in _love_ with Antonio, right? He couldn’t be in love with someone he was just friends with.

But then again, with some context, that was stupid. _Really_ fucking stupid, because when Lovino was in high school, he would even go to the extent of _having sex_ with people he _wasn’t even dating,_ let alone in love with.

Friends with benefits, he thought. But he somewhat regretted it. Because it wasn’t love.

Then…what was this? What did he see in Antonio? He wasn’t just a ‘best friend’, that was for sure.

He continued to hide under the covers. Antonio was probably asleep by now, Lovino thought, scrolling through his Instagram on his phone. His notifications were mostly likes and comments from Antonio.

And thirty direct messages from him, too. Followed by a spam of heart emojis. Lovino smirked. There was no way Antonio only saw him as a friend.

But…what about his _own_ feelings? He blushed. Well, Antonio definitely was attractive, that was for sure. His beautiful green eyes, his adorable curly hair…

…And his ass. _God, that ass._ Was the dumbass even _aware_ of his godly ass? He had to be. Lovino shook his head. _No._ Thinking about him in that way was wrong, dammit. Friends didn’t think of friends’ asses.

He knew Antonio was experienced with relationships – anything related to love. It seemed like he would be a good boyfriend, too. He was mature and had a good sense of humor.

Then the thought came to his mind. Was Antonio a virgin?

Well, probably not. He was experienced, after all. And…

…He just _looked_ like someone who’s had sex before. Lovino didn’t know how to put it, but he was nearly sure of it. But why did he even care about that shit? He shook his head again. This was wrong. What was wrong with _him?_

Lovino’s eyes widened. What was Antonio even like during sex? He bit his lip. These thoughts were going overboard. More than overboard. Again, why did he care?

Now that he thought about it, Antonio was pretty fucking _ripped_ , actually. He’d obviously seen the bastard shirtless a few times, considering he didn’t even care when he was changing clothes while Lovino was still in the room. He definitely had a good body.

“The fuck…” Lovino whispered, sitting up in bed and pulling the covers off from him. What was going on with him lately? His face was hot, and so was the rest of his body. He felt kind of sweaty, too.

He blushed. How had his train of thought gone from that…to…this? There had to be something wrong. Maybe it was the wine he had when they were at that restaurant. Maybe the studying was making him go loopy, dammit. And now he felt something.

Lovino looked down at his crotch. _No. Don’t get hard_ , he thought, frowning. Nope. Can’t get hard over thinking like that. He slightly brushed his fingers over the spot, and quickly stopped.

_I need some fucking sleep_ , he thought, lying down again.

\--

“There’s something wrong with me,” he had kept telling himself, and was now telling Feliciano. “He’s just a friend, Feli! I can’t think of him that way…” He couldn’t sleep last night, and he woke up at four in the morning to go see Feliciano at his house.

Feliciano grinned. “But you did, didn’t you?”

“Shut up…” Lovino mumbled, blushing. “I…I don’t know. He’s just…ugh. Can’t you try to help, at least? Don’t you have anything to say?”

His brother shook his head. “No, I’m going to have to leave this all up to you.” Feliciano smirked. “You’re the one who got horny in the middle of the night, not me.”

Lovino could feel his face getting hot. “I wasn’t horny, dammit!”

Feliciano didn’t reply, but he only gave a small smile. Lovino groaned.

“Feliiiiiiiiiii. My God. Can’t you say something about it, at least?”

“No, ‘cos it won’t help you in any way. You’re all on your own here, Lovino.” The younger boy put his homework down and smiled. “But I can assure you that no, you’re not crazy, nor is there something wrong with you.” He gave a wink, and Lovino groaned, putting his face in his hands.

“You’re so fucking _annoyingggggg.”_

“I know~ It’s wonderful, right? Ah, I should probably head off to school. You, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was incredibly gay and i promise it'll get gayer and gayer.
> 
> \- Ren


	8. Chapter 8

Lovino couldn’t focus in class at all.

Which was strange, because he promised himself he’d try to forget about last night. Everything about it.

But that obviously didn’t work, because it was still vivid in his mind. But it wasn’t much, right? He had just hugged Antonio…

…And they’d held hands…

_“Fuck!”_ He groaned, running a hand through his hair. Why was he still thinking about it? It wasn’t like they kissed or anything. It felt like they very nearly did, though.

It couldn’t be love, Lovino thought. They had only known each other for a month or more, after all. But there definitely was something he was feeling. Something that didn’t really have anything to do with friendship.

He stood by his locker, still thinking. Maybe it was some sort of crush. Something like that.

That seemed like the best way to describe it, he thought, carefully lining up his textbooks inside his locker. Maybe he just found Antonio attractive. That was probably it. 

“Lovino!” Antonio exclaimed, running towards him. “How are you? Is everything alright with your assignments and everything?”

The younger boy was squished into another hug, like usual. He bit his lip and nodded. “Y-yeah, it’s fine. You?”

Antonio gave a warm smile. It was nice to know that Lovino was finally warming up to him. “I’m alright, thanks. I passed in that story I was working on with you in the library, actually.”

“Oh.” Lovino nodded. He gave a sigh and looked around awkwardly, before shyly facing Antonio again. “It’s…it’s cold again, dammit.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Antonio took off his scarf, and carefully wrapped it around Lovino. “You can have my scarf, if you want. You didn’t buy one for yourself, right?” It was true – Lovino was always dressing too lightly for the cold weather. “Lovi, you need to dress in clothing fit for winter, you know. Now that it’s getting cold and all. You know, coats and stuff!”

“Whatever.” Lovino lowered his voice to a whisper. “Thanks.”

\--

“You like him,” Alfred said, grinning. “You definitely do.” The three boys were hanging out at Alfred’s house for the time being – they were supposed to be studying, but they ended up just playing games and pigging out on food.

Lovino blushed and shook his head. “No, that’s not it, dammit. It’s just…”

“Dude.” Haru put down his phone, and gave a long sigh. “You just described everything to us. You think about him all the time, you stare at him a lot-“

“I try not to,” Lovino interjected. But he knew it wouldn’t make anything better. It was clear Alfred and Haru were onto him.

Alfred adjusted his glasses and stared at Lovino. “You talk about him all the time now. You also mentioned that you were thinking about how ‘attractive’ he is last night…” Haru looked like he was trying not to laugh.

“What’s with the sarcastic tone, dammit?” Lovino demanded, glaring at him. “He _is_ attra…” He caught himself mid-sentence and bit his lip, and the other two laughed.

Lovino folded his arms and looked at the floor. “W-who cares, dammit? Just ‘cos I think he’s pretty fucking cute doesn’t mean I’m actually in love with him…”

“This man,” Haru said, staring at Alfred and pointing at Lovino, “is fucking _hopeless.”_

Looking towards Lovino, Alfred smiled and shook his head. “Man, you’re gonna be on your own here. If you’re not even aware you like him, then…”

Lovino blushed. “Okay, I like him. I think. But I don’t know what to fucking do.” Alfred and Haru high-fived and grinned at each other.

Alfred shrugged. “I mean…I kinda figured you would. ‘Cos you’re experienced with flirting and relationships and stuff.”

 _But he’s a guy_ , Lovino thought, groaning again. Antonio wasn’t like…every other girl he’d dated in the past. Sure, he was gay, but he only realized it at sixteen. And refused to accept it for a long time. He’d only dated _women_ , for fuck’s sake! “Yeah, but…” He frowned, and Haru and Alfred exchanged looks again.

Haru sighed. “Dude, I don’t know what to say. Me and Alfred? Bro, we’re single men. Single men who…well, the closest thing we have to girlfriends are probably the ones we have in the Sims.”

“Yeah, bro,” Alfred agreed, nodding. “I don’t think we can give much advice except, well…” He shrugged. “Follow your gut.”

\--

I’m fucking stupid, Lovino thought, pacing around the room.

Antonio was out with friends. He asked Lovino if he could come too, but Lovino declined, much to his dismay.

So Lovino was just alone in the room, walking back and forth. Thinking about Antonio. Nothing new, really.

But he’d been getting soft, goddammit. Falling for him like that. Giving him hugs.

“Well, we all know I always get what I want,” he laughed to himself, sitting down at his desk. “He can’t really say no.”

Antonio would probably fall for a bribe, he thought, sighing. Since Alfred and Haru couldn’t come up with any advice on how to get Antonio to be his, he was going to have to do this on his own.

He could try to seduce him or something. That always worked with his past relationships.

Because at this rate, it was clear Antonio liked him more than just a friend. But the idiot either was too dense to even realize it himself, or he didn’t know how to tell him.

Lovino took off his shirt and looked at his reflection in the mirror. It had been a while since he’d last had sex, but maybe this could work.

He kicked off his pants and squinted at his ass. Sure, it wasn’t much, but it was something. Maybe he could buy some lingerie or something, and get to the room early after school – strip, and wait for Antonio in bed. Yeah.

The thought made his mind go wild, actually. He didn’t realize how much he wanted him. Not until now, at least.

\--

Lovino tightened the straps of his garter belt and sat in bed. Antonio said he’d be back at 7:00 PM – he’d be back any time soon.

He sighed, waiting for him. Antonio was already clearly in love with him – he wouldn’t be able to resist, right? What was he going to do, anyway? Try to have sex with him?

He bit his lip. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Maybe-

“Lovino?” Antonio opened the door and walked inside, holding his textbooks. “Lo-“ He stopped midsentence, and his eyes widened. “Oh. I’m sorry. Am I interrupting something?” Was Lovino waiting for someone, perhaps? Antonio couldn’t help but remember that Lovino had a ‘no sex’ rule when it came to inviting people to their room.

Lovino shook his head. “No, you’re really not.” He adjusted his position and smirked. “You coming in?”

Antonio’s face was getting redder and redder by the minute. “Um. Yeah, I think Francis called, actually. I left my stuff at his place.”

“Stay,” Lovino whispered, standing up to walk towards him. He tugged slightly at Antonio’s shirt collar, before leaning in closer. “I want you here.”

“D-did you drink something while I was away…?”

“You don’t want to?” Lovino pouted.

Antonio blushed. “You’re lovely, you know. But…”

“Oh.”

“I-I mean…if it makes you happy, then…” Antonio couldn’t help but feel like he was at a loss, though. They hadn’t even confessed yet, or even kissed…let alone had sex? “Lovino, did something happen?”

Lovino shook his head. “Nothing happened. I love you. It should’ve been obvious, you know.”

Antonio blushed. “Y-you do?” But the tone in Lovino’s voice seemed flat, he thought. There had to be something going on.

“Bed,” Lovino moaned. “Now.”

No, there was definitely something going on, and Antonio wasn’t sure he wanted to be any part of it. “Lovino, I don’t know…”

Lovino made a face, but his blank expression quickly turned to mortification. “Oh.”

Antonio bit his lip. “I’m serious, you know.” He put his hands on Lovino’s shoulders. “I’m glad we’re friends now – probably even more than friends, actually. But…I don’t think this is right, you know.”

“You’re not ready?” Lovino whispered. The tone in his voice was uneasy, and he looked like he was trying not to cry. Antonio thought for a bit, then slowly shook his head.

“No, Lovi. I’m…not. I think I’ll have to think about this for a while, you know.”

A tear rolled down Lovino’s cheek, and he quickly wiped it away. “No. I’m sorry, dammit. I thought…I mean…I just took it the wrong way, I guess. I thought…I thought…”

“I do love you, you know,” Antonio said, hugging him. “I do. I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you. I was afraid of how you’d react. But I’m…not ready for things like this.” Lovino was rushing it, he thought. “You need to give it time.”

Lovino was crying now. “I’m sorry. I’m fucking sorry. I just made things awkward between us. And you probably hate me.”

Antonio raised his eyebrows and put his hand on the side of Lovino’s face. “Hate you? Lovino, I could never…”

“I’m a fucking _slut,_ Antonio. Anyone would hate me.”

“I don’t believe in slut-shaming, actually,” Antonio said, laughing gently as he stroked Lovino’s hair. “I don’t care about how many people you’ve slept with in the past, or your good looks or your money…I love you for you.”

Lovino frowned. “I still can’t see why you’re so calm with me.”

“Believe me, I was trying not to lose it at some point. You said some pretty messed up things when I first met you.”

“Oh, God. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking _sorry_ ,” Lovino sobbed, breaking down again. “I’m sor…ry…”

Antonio hugged him even tighter. “Don’t cry, my love. It’s okay.”

 _My love._ Lovino would’ve been ecstatic if he had heard Antonio call him that in a different situation. He wiped his tears (or at least, tried to) and looked down. “I…I’m kinda cold…”

“Well, I’m not surprised,” Antonio laughed. “Wearing lingerie like that, at this time of the year?” He took off his coat and gently placed it over the smaller man, who was still a mess of tears and sniffles. “Hey, I’ll make it up to you. We can spend time doing whatever you want, okay?” He giggled. “Except for sex,” he joked.

Lovino nodded. “Okay.”

\--

“I can’t believe you watch this cheesy shit,” Lovino groaned. “This is _comedy?”_

Antonio grinned and squeezed Lovino’s hand. “Yes, it is.” He gave a teasing smile. “Why, do you have any movie suggestions?”

Lovino shrugged. “I mean, I could suggest _Fifty Shades of Grey,_ but considering the context of what happened an hour ago, probably not. Besides, I just rewatched it yesterday.” He looked up at Antonio. “Oh, yeah. I cut my hair today. In case you didn’t realize.” A cute pixie cut replaced the back-length hair he previously had when they met. “I left one side slightly longer, because I thought it’d look different. But maybe it just looks weird.”

Antonio decided it wouldn’t be a good idea to comment on Lovino’s… _questionable_ taste of movies, and instead he smiled and thought it’d be safer to compliment his new hairdo, instead. “It looks different _and_ cute!” He wrapped his arms around him, and leaned in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. Noticing Lovino’s startled expression, he slightly backed away. “Oh. I’m sorry. You didn’t expect that, did you?”

“It’s fine,” Lovino snorted. “Considering I tried to force you into having sex with me.” But the thought of kissing Antonio made him blush. When would he even get the courage to kiss Antonio, let alone actually have _sex_ with him, anyway? He groaned. What the fuck was wrong with him? Also, it felt like the millionth time he was asking himself that question, and he never seemed to be able to find the answer for it.

Antonio frowned. “Hey, you promised you wouldn’t bring that up. Wholesome thoughts only, Lovino!”

Lovino giggled. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” It seemed impossible for him to think of anything wholesome, really. Well, at least, it used to. Anything that came to mind when he thought of Antonio was wholesome, after all. He stopped smiling and stared at Antonio. “What…? Why’re you staring at me, dammit?”

His roommate smiled. “Sorry. You just have such a beautiful smile, that’s all. And an adorable laugh.”

“Ugh, not this shit again.”

“But it’s true! You really should smile more.” Antonio raised his eyebrows in thought. Did this mean he and Lovino were officially dating? Knowing how Lovino was, he’d probably have to ask him himself. It wasn’t worth risking pissing him off again. “Uhm, this is weird, but…”

Lovino made a face. “Dude. At this point, _nothing_ is weird to me.”

Antonio nodded. “Right, right. So, um…are we…a thing now?” Another snort escaped from Lovino, and Antonio laughed. “Hey, don’t laugh…”

“Who even _says_ that?” Lovino giggled, not even realizing that he was still holding Antonio’s hand. “You’re such a _dork_.”

“Says the one who…”

Lovino smirked. “You said none of us were allowed to bring that up.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Antonio laughed. He gave a small smile, and Lovino could’ve sworn he was blushing. The room was dim, though, so it was kind of hard to tell. “So, um…are we…”

“I guess,” Lovino replied. “There isn’t really any other way to put it. You said you loved me, I…” He stopped to think. Did he tell Antonio that he loved him back? He replayed his words back in his head, and remembered. He did, but it didn’t sound like he meant it. But…

Lovino sighed. “I mean…we’ve held hands and stuff, and…” He blushed. “But Antonio, I’d…I’d be a terrible boyfriend, you know. I kinda feel bad, dammit…”

“I’d be a pretty shitty boyfriend too, actually. But we’re young. It’s worth a try.” Antonio continued to stroke Lovino’s hair. He loved how Lovino’s hair felt, actually. It was so…soft. “Who knows,” he teased, “there could be a future waiting for us.”

“It’s too early to think of that!” Lovino gasped, and Antonio chuckled.

“Sorry. I’m just kidding, haha…”

Lovino was trying not to smile (and was doing a pretty shitty job at trying). “I know you are. I’m not stupid.” He leaned on Antonio and sighed. “I…realized it not so long ago.”

“Realized what?” Antonio asked.

“That I…” Lovino bit his lip in mild embarrassment. “You know…my feelings…”

“Ohhh.”

“And I just felt like…” Lovino inhaled, and squeezed Antonio’s hand. He looked up at him. “I just felt like I needed to tell you. Right away. And that I wanted more.” That was his way all the time. He was like a spoiled child – always having that mindset – that he’d always get what he wanted.

Antonio smiled. “I know how you feel. I…I’ve felt like that once too. A long time ago.” He lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. “I’m not going to hold it against you.”

Lovino nodded, and shut off the TV. He got off the bed and walked to his side of the room. “Yeah. I’m gonna get some fucking sleep, if that’s alright with you…” He tried to reduce the amount of snarkiness in his tone, and smiled.

Just a little smile, he decided. A tiny one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like every time i try to write smth with lovino being mean it just turns into fluffy shit lmao  
> (EDIT 11/05/2020 - LMAO I FORGOT TO WRITE THE END OF A SENTENCE IN THIS CHAPTER i fixed it lol)
> 
> \- Ren


	9. Chapter 9

“A…date?”

Lovino’s face was redder than Antonio thought he had ever seen before. Which said a lot, considering Lovino blushed nearly all the time. It was cute, Antonio thought, smiling. Really cute.

Antonio nodded, and ruffled his new boyfriend’s hair. “Yeah, a date! Are you busy tomorrow?”

“No,” Lovino replied, still blushing. He’d gone outside with Antonio many times before, but to hear him call it a date… “I’m not busy. What’ll we do, though?”

“You seem to really like shopping,” Antonio said, holding his hand. He grinned. “I thought it’d be nice to treat you again.”

Lovino smirked. But he’s always treating me, he thought. “I’m becoming pretty fucking spoiled, don’t you think?”

“You’re already spoiled,” Antonio laughed. “You were since the very beginning. But I love you anyway, and I’ll only continue to spoil you rotten.” He lifted up Lovino’s bangs, and leaned in to kiss him on the forehead.

“Then can we hang out at my house?” Lovino asked. “’Cos I’ve been to your house before, but I don’t think you’ve been to mine.”

Antonio nodded. “Of course we can! I’d love to see your house. How long?”

“You wanna spend the night?”

“Oh, sure!”

\--

Antonio had always wondered what Lovino would look like in a dress, and he had always thought he’d look cute. Extremely cute. So cute it was painful.

He really wasn’t wrong, but when he saw Lovino come out of the bathroom wearing an adorable retro dress with red-and-white polka dots on it, he felt like his heart nearly stopped. Antonio broke into a big smile. “Oh, Lovino…”

“I know, it doesn’t suit me, it looks weird,” Lovino muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes. “I figured I’d try it out. You are my boyfriend, after all. We agreed on no more secrets. To express ourselves freely towards each other – all that shit.”

Antonio shook his head, trying not to gape at his boyfriend. “No, that’s…not what I meant, actually! Not at all. It’s just you’re so…” He walked towards him and smiled. “You’re so cute…”

_Cute_. Lovino blushed. Antonio calling him cute was nothing new, but it still made his heart skip a beat. Especially when he was smiling like that. God, that adorable smile. Lovino shook his head. “I’m not cute…I’ve told you so many times, dammit…”

“But you are,” Antonio sighed, holding him close. Lovino stared up at him – there was something so adorable about Antonio’s expression right now. He looked so…in _love_.

Lovino smirked. “We haven’t even kissed yet, and you’re already acting like we’ve been dating for a _month_.”

“We’ve _known_ each other for more than a month, though,” Antonio sighed. “I knew I fell in love with you nearly as soon as I met you…”

Seriously? Lovino laughed. “I hope you’re not being serious, you know. It’d be pretty weird if you fell in love with someone who called you a bastard the first time they met you. Falling in love with them at first sight, too.”

“Then I guess I’m weird, then.” There was a light blush on Antonio’s face – he was definitely excited about this first date. “There was just something so…charming about you. Oh, but I didn’t realize my feelings immediately, actually. No, I actually…only realized it a few weeks ago.” The blush on his face got darker, and Lovino smirked again.

“That’s ‘cos you’re a dense bastard.”

“The truth hurts,” Antonio laughed. He grinned. “Did I catch you peeking while I was changing clothes this morning?” he asked teasingly.

Lovino glared at him and folded his arms. “That’s bullshit. I wouldn’t do shit like that.”

“Oh? Is that so?”

“Y-yeah. I mean…” Lovino laughed uneasily, knowing that he had just exposed himself. In the morning, he woke up while Antonio was changing clothes for the day – and he couldn’t help but peek every time he thought his oblivious boyfriend’s back was turned. Man, was Antonio _ripped_ as fuck.

Antonio squeezed Lovino’s hand and smiled warmly. “It’s alright, you know. I don’t mind.” He gave a light laugh. “I’m actually flattered, you know.”

_Not my fault you’re a hot bastard_ , Lovino thought, biting his lip in embarrassment. He shyly leaned over to hug him. “C’mon, stupid. Let’s go already…”

“Oh, yeah. Are we going to take the train, or…?”

Lovino pouted in disappointment. “Don’t you have a car or something? We always take the train, dammit. So fucking boring.”

“Oh, yeah! I could drive us to the mall,” Antonio agreed. “We’ll go do that, then!”

\--

When Lovino asked if he could play his Spotify playlist in the car, Antonio expected another round of listening to heavy metal for ten minutes straight. But it turned out the moody boy had some pretty good taste in music. Not that metal sucked or anything, but still. It just wasn’t his cup of tea. And he didn’t expect someone as baby-faced as Lovino to have an interest in headbanging. It was still cute, though.

And it was even cuter watching Lovino singing along to _7 Rings._

“You’re so good at singing,” Antonio commented, turning to smile at Lovino. “I didn’t know you listened to Ariana Grande.”

Lovino stopped singing, and his expression returned to his default frown. “Eyes on the road, stupid.” Antonio nodded and looked forward again.

“Ah, sorry. Yep.”

“Of _course_ I’m good at singing,” Lovino mumbled, adjusting the heart-shaped hairpin clipped to the side of his head. He pushed his bangs out of his eyes. “You sing too, don’t you? And dance.”

“Oh, yeah.” Antonio smiled. “I play guitar, too.”

Lovino raised his eyebrows. _Hot_. “Oh, really? I’ve never heard you play.” His boyfriend nodded.

“My guitar’s at home,” he replied, sighing. “I actually wanted to make a career out of it at first, you know. But I’m kind of set on my fiction-writing stuff.” Antonio nodded, a smile on his face. “And agricultural stuff, too. Yeah. I’m kind of all over the place. Sorry.” He laughed.

“You really are,” Lovino commented, trying not to laugh. Fiction-writing? Agriculture? Music? The man really was all over the place. “But it’s good to be, well…good at different things, I guess,” he added. He looked up from his hands. “Hey, Toni?”

The use of the nickname made Antonio blush even more, but remembering what Lovino said (or rather, snapped at him) earlier, he continued to keep his eyes on the road. “Yeah?”

“You play guitar, right?”

“Yep.”

A coy smile appeared on Lovino’s face. “Can you play for me sometime?”

Antonio couldn’t help but giggle. Lovino was getting cuter and cuter by the minute, and the (somewhat rare) sweetness in his tone was making him feel more and more excited about this first date. “Of course, darling.”

Lovino’s face flushed red again. “D- _darling_?” He stammered, staring at Antonio. “Y-you’re making it sound like we’re newlyweds, dammit…it’s weird…” Weird…but cute, though.

“You’re not too far from marriage, I don’t think,” Antonio joked. “You’re eighteen, aren’t you?”

“Y-yeah…”

“If this goes any further, then…well…” He gave a smug smile, and Lovino’s eyes widened in realization, before he covered his face with his hands in embarrassment.

“Oh, God.” Lovino shook his head, trying not to smile. “Are you fucking crazy? It’s our first date, and you’re talking about _marriage_?”

“I’m just kidding,” Antonio laughed. “Oh, we’re here now, by the way.”

\--

“Hey, you know that display furniture in IKEA?” Lovino took a sip of his iced coffee and looked back at his boyfriend, who was browsing through a store catalog. “Could you sleep overnight in an IKEA bed?”

Antonio laughed. “I always hear the most interesting questions from you. I’d assume you can’t.”

“But someone filmed a Youtube soap opera in IKEA,” Lovino said. “And it has _seven_ fucking episodes.” He raised his eyebrows. “Could you have sex in an IKEA?”

“Oh, my God.”

“Cursed idea?”

“Cursed idea. _Very_.”

Lovino grinned and wrapped his arms around Antonio. “Hey, you’ve…” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “You’ve had sex before, right?”

Antonio blushed. “You knew?”

“Well, of course. You said yourself that you were experienced with love, after all.” Lovino smirked. “Have you ever done it in weird places? Like a car, or something?”

“Yeah,” Antonio admitted, still laughing. Lovino raised his eyebrows.

“Ooh, hot,” he joked, a teasing tone in his voice that nearly sent Antonio over the edge. Damn Lovino and his teasing. Lovino squeezed Antonio’s hand. “What was it like?”

“You’ve done it before too, haven’t you? Car sex.”

Lovino made a face, implying that he did. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“How was it for you, then?” Antonio asked. Lovino groaned.

“Fucking _uncomfortable_ , dammit.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. It really was. I can’t with tight spaces.”

Lovino smirked and raised his eyebrows. “Tight?”

Antonio doubled over and nearly burst out laughing. “Are you…implying something?” He didn’t think Lovino could be so… _dirty minded._

“I know, I know,” Lovino snorted. “You aren’t ready.” He smiled. “That’s fine. I still have high hopes.” He walked over to check out a few dresses on display, while his boyfriend watched him with a loving smile on his face.

\--

“I didn’t know you were fine with horror movies,” Lovino said, staring at his boyfriend – who didn’t look the least bit shaken up. “Especially the ones with a lot of fucking _gore_.”

Antonio grinned. “I’m used to it. The gore, too.” He gave a smug smile. “You were holding my hand the entire time.”

Lovino blushed and glared at him. “N-no I wasn’t, dammit!”

“You talk about sex a lot, come to think of it. Are you the type who’s horny all the time?”

“I hope you’re joking, dammit.” Lovino glared at Antonio, who gave a shrug.

Antonio grinned. “Well, when we were setting up the dorm rules last month, weren’t you the one who suggested…privacy stuff? You know, in case one of us decides to have alone time…”

Lovino shook his head, even though he knew it wasn’t doing anything to prove himself innocent. “Nope. Don’t know what you’re talking about.” God, he just wanted to…make out with him right there, right now.

“You’re so cute…”

_You’re the cute one, you bastard_ , Lovino thought, biting his lip. “I-I’m not cute…” He leaned on Antonio. “Hey…”

“Hmm?”

“I wanna eat.”

\--

They ate at a cute themed restaurant – it was very… _pink_ , Lovino thought. But he appreciated Antonio’s cute taste, actually. It suited him.

And now they were going home, and Lovino couldn’t help but feel like he wanted…more.

Not more as in sex, but…he really wanted to kiss him. Really, _really_ wanted to kiss him. But how would Antonio even react to something like that?

Lovino looked at the ground. “Hey, Antonio…”

“Yeah?”

He lost track of what he was going to say. Fuck. Lovino shook his head. “N-nothing, dammit. I…forgot.”

Antonio grinned. “So cute!”

Lovino glared at him. “H-hey, our stop is over _there_ , dammit…the building’s over there!” Eyes on the road, goddammit!

“I was thinking we could spend some time at my apartment, actually,” Antonio laughed, making a right turn. “We could spend the night at my place. It’s just me at home, after all. My brother’s with friends.” Lovino blushed again and made a face.

_Spend the night?! Together?_ “W-what…?! The hell are you implying here…we just started d-dating…I-I mean, I didn’t even pack any clothes…!”

Antonio laughed. “It’s alright, isn’t it? You bought so many clothes today, you know. You bought so many cute pajamas!” Besides, now that he thought about it…didn’t Lovino usually sleep in his underwear, anyway?

Lovino made a face. “Why do you even want me to sleep over, anyway?”

“Ah, you don’t want to? I just thought it’d be fun.”

“It’s…” Lovino inhaled, and looked down again. “…not like I don’t want to…”

\--

Antonio’s house was…small.

Well, it was actually an apartment. Besides, the man was practically paying off his loans with his own money, while Lovino had his parents to rely on. Not to mention Lovino had never been in an apartment before. He’d always lived in that big house of his.

It was actually kind of cute, Lovino thought, looking around. Everything was so clean.

He turned around and spotted a photo album sitting on a desk. Not to mention…

_Antonio’s baby photos_.

Lovino flipped through the album, trying not to giggle. Even as a little kid, Antonio still had the same adorable smile. And that hair. God, that hair. How could one have such cute, curly hair, dammit?

“Oh, tell me you didn’t see that,” Antonio laughed, walking over to him. “Those were from a long, long, time ago.”

“You’re so small,” Lovino laughed, pointing at the photos. “I love how…like, in a lot of them, you’re just sitting around somewhere quietly minding your own business and playing with whatever’s in your hands…and then there’s your brother running around.” Not much different to how Antonio was now, actually. He seemed like someone who was mature even at a young age. Still had the cutest sense of humor, though.

Antonio wrapped his arms around Lovino, and kissed him on the cheek. “Do you have any photos of _you_ when you were little?”

Lovino wrinkled his nose. “A few, but I wasn’t cute like you. I was a fat kid, dammit.”

“I bet you were _adorable_ ,” Antonio gushed, hugging him. “Just as adorable as you are now. And you’re pretty damn adorable _now_ , you know.” Lovino blushed and leaned on him.

“Hey…I’ll just change clothes, okay? I’ll be back…”

“Honey?”

_Honey_. He couldn’t help but blush at the name. “Y-yeah…?”

Antonio put his hands on Lovino’s shoulders and leaned in, and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Just a little one. That was it, right? Nothing much.

But that didn’t seem to explain Lovino’s reaction, though.

Lovino’s face flushed a deep shade of red. “T-Toni…?”

“Ah, I’m sorry,” Antonio laughed, also blushing. He held Lovino close and sighed. “You just…looked so cute just then.”

_He’s never kissed me before_ , Lovino thought, feeling his face get hotter and hotter. Sure, it was just a peck on the lips, but…

Lovino slowly look up at Antonio, his lips parting to say something, but he closed them again and shook his head. It was as if words didn’t want to come out or something. He squeezed Antonio’s hand. “Toni…”

“Yeah?”

“That was…our first kiss, wasn’t it?”

Antonio gave a warm smile. “Yes, I do think it was.”

Lovino blushed. “I…must’ve looked stupid, dammit.” Fuck, that was embarrassing. His eyes were open, too. Who the fuck opens their eyes during a kiss, dammit?! “I-It was really short for a first kiss, too…”

“Then let’s do it again, hm?” Antonio laughed gently, caressing the side of Lovino’s face.

“Jeez, you’re such a dork…” Lovino leaned in again, trying to maintain his confident exterior, but knowing that he was doing such a shitty job at it. He was a fucking mess on the inside – sure, he’d kissed people before, dammit – many girls. But for some reason, he felt like his heart was going jump right out of his chest.

He closed his eyes and softly pressed his lips to Antonio’s. God, his lips were so fucking soft. Lovino wrapped his arms around him, keeping his eyes shut during the warm, gentle embrace.

And then he peeked with one eye open, and noticed that Antonio’s eyes were open. Wide open.

Lovino broke away from the kiss for a split second. “Close your eyes, dammit…”

“Huh? Why?” Antonio pouted. “I wanna see how cute you are…”

“’Cos it’s weird to kiss with your eyes open,” Lovino pointed out, glaring at him. “Close ‘em.”

“How’d you know I was opening them, though?”

“I just knew.”

“Woah…”

“Are you going to keep staring at me like that, or-“

Antonio gently pushed Lovino against the wall close by, taking advantage of the kiss again. Not wanting to let go, Lovino ran his fingers through Antonio’s hair, subtly gripping it. “Nnh…”

God, that hair.

That stubborn, curly hair of his. It never seemed to want to go down.

Well, the same went for Lovino’s own hair, too. At least, that one particular curl that always seemed to bounce right up. But he didn’t like to talk about that. It was embarrassing, dammit – and he felt he’d tell Antonio about it at a different time. Not now. It’d ruin the wholesome moment, dammit.

The two pulled away for a moment – Lovino’s eyes wide open with astonishment, while Antonio’s were filled with kindness.

Lovino bit his lip, feeling himself blush again. Fuck. Who knew Antonio was such a good kisser? Well, he _was_ experienced, of course, but still.

“Did…you just… _moan_?” Antonio quietly asked, staring at him. “When we were kissing.”

Eyes widening, Lovino shook his head. “N-no, I don’t think so. Nope. Definitely not.”

Antonio raised his eyebrows and put a hand against the wall. “Are you sure about that? I could’ve sworn I heard a little one…”

“I-It’s a habit,” Lovino quickly said. “Happens when I…kiss people. Yeah. Like that, I mean.” His boyfriend started to notice that he was, well…embarrassed, and tried to change the subject swiftly.

“Ah, you know, there was actually something I wanted to ask you, you know,” Antonio said, smiling. “That cute curl sitting atop your head. The big one – what is it? You always seem to try to not touch it, even when you’re combing your hair. You always yell at people when they accidentally touch it, too.”

Wow. Lovino made a small, tight wheezing noise. So much for not having to explain _that_. “Yeah, um…well, you know what an…e-zone is, right?”

“E…zone?”

“Erogenous zone.” There. He said it. “You know?”

Antonio smiled, but his eyes definitely said no. Lovino gave a long sigh. How the hell was he supposed to explain this without making shit awkward?

“I actually wanna touch it and see what happens,” Antonio said, grinning. Lovino’s eyes widened in slight shock, and Antonio raised his eyebrows. “It doesn’t hurt, does it? I don’t want to hurt you.”

Yeah, there really was no way to make this less awkward.

“N-no, it doesn’t,” Lovino mumbled, blushing again. “G-go ahead and try, I guess.” Antonio was his boyfriend, after all.

“…”

“…” The mood was kind of tense. So much for the wholesome mood, actually. Antonio seemed to be having a silent debate with himself on whether or not to touch it, and Lovino just gave a long sigh and looked up.

“Okay, you don’t have to, dammit,” Lovino quickly said, running a hand through his hair. He exhaled again. Wow, this was going to be awkward. Again. It already was. “It…When people touch it…I get…”

Antonio listened intently, and Lovino shut his eyes tightly. Fuck, he was going to have to tell him anyway.

“It makes me horny, dammit.”

“…” Antonio looked like he completely understood, or didn’t understand at all. Both at the same time.

Lovino blushed. “Go ahead and laugh, dammit. It’s pretty awkward just standing around waiting for a reaction.”

“It…does?” Antonio finally said, trying to at least smile. This time, he seemed to have a hard time with that smile of his though, given the current situation.

“It does.”

Antonio raised his eyebrows. “Oh.” He gave a light laugh. “So it does.”

Lovino was mortified. Why’d he asked him to touch it, anyway? Maybe it was because he didn’t want to go through the pain of explaining that the curl was an erogenous zone and what it did, but…!

“Hey,” Antonio said, patting Lovino on the shoulder, “it’s okay. You don’t have to feel bad or anything. I should’ve known what an ‘erogenous zone’ was in the first place, haha!”

“E-eh…” Lovino gave an awkward nod, but he was relieved that Antonio didn’t seem to care much. Or find it strange, for that matter. Because it really was.

Antonio grinned. “It’s actually interesting, you know. I never knew something like that could happen because of, well…” He tilted his head to the side and nodded. “Hair.” Lovino smirked to himself. Neither did he, actually. When he was little, it just felt weird to touch, but by the time he was at around twelve, he vowed to _never_ touch it again. He shuddered. The sensation just felt gross to him at the time – probably because he was still a kid, but he ended up using it again anyway in a few years’ time.

Lovino groaned. “Yeah, I don’t really wanna talk or even think about this, actually. I just told you because I thought you should know.” He bit his lip. “It’s…embarrassing.”

“This curl of yours,” Antonio said, smiling, “it’s adorable. It’s really cute, and it suits you!”

“You don’t care what it does?” Lovino snorted. He had to keep it a secret throughout high school. That secret slipped out during tenth grade, and his friends at the time wouldn’t let him hear the end of it.

His boyfriend shook his head. “No, I don’t.” He squeezed his hands. “Lovino, you’re…always going to be adorable to me, no matter what. Okay?”

“I…actually don’t think I’m perfect at all,” Lovino admitted, sighing. “I lose my temper all the fucking time. I yell at you sometimes. I’m short, and um…” He looked up at Antonio. “My name is weird.”

“It’s not,” Antonio insisted, holding him close again. “Those last two points were ridiculous, you know.”

“Bet you’ve never heard anyone else with my name before, though.”

Antonio smiled. “I haven’t,” he admitted. “But you know what? You’re so unique, and I love that about you.” He kissed Lovino on the cheek again. “I’ve really never met anyone like you, but I’m glad I did.”

Lovino snorted. “Sounds like you’re saying you won’t see me again in a long time.”

“Oh, that’s not what I meant at all,” Antonio laughed, hugging him. “I’m just glad we’re…together, that’s all.”

“M-me…” Lovino stammered, trying to fight off the awkwardness and hesitation bubbling up in him again. “Me…too.”

Antonio kissed him on the lips again – just a quick peck. “I love you.”

Lovino’s face instantly went red again. “I-I-I…” He narrowed his eyes. “I’m…tired, dammit.”

“That’s okay,” Antonio laughed. “It was worth a try. But you do, don’t you?”

“What?” Lovino asked, even though he knew exactly what.

“Love me back.”

Lovino nodded. “Well, yeah.” Antonio smiled again, and continued to hug him tightly. Lovino could’ve sworn he heard him sniffle, actually. He looked back at him. “Hey…are you crying…?”

Antonio shook his head and laughed. “No, I just…”

“You can’t just say ‘no’ when it’s fucking obvious that you are, you know,” Lovino retorted.

“I’m just…so _overwhelmed_ , you know?” Antonio admitted, getting all teary again. “I…I’ve always loved you, but I didn’t even realize it myself sooner…” He let out a little sob. “I didn’t even realize you felt the same way, and I feel really bad…I didn’t even think you’d have any reason to feel that way about me, either!”

Lovino’s eyes widened. “Toni…”

“I’m so stupid, you know-“

“You’re _not_ fucking stupid!” Lovino interrupted, cutting him off. He threw his arms around Antonio, hiding his face in his chest. Just in case he cried or anything, because that was bound to happen at some fucking point. “The only reason you’d ever be stupid would be because you don’t even realize how much of an amazing person you are. You’re so fucking patient around anyone, you always defend me, you don’t care when I lose my shit around you or anyone else, you’re just so…” He inhaled, and let out a long sigh. “You deserve so much more, Antonio. You don’t need to feel bad, dammit.”

Antonio gave a weak smile. “I don’t think I’ll always be able to smile for you, Lovino. I’m sorry.”

“And that’s okay,” Lovino said, looking up. “You don’t always have to put on this smile for everyone. You can cry when you want to. You can express that you don’t like something when you don’t.” He gave a small smile. “Don’t cry, okay? I’m not used to seeing you cry, dammit. It’s your fault for smiling so much. I can’t imagine you not smiling, because of how much you smile all the time.”

Antonio lifted Lovino’s bangs, and leaned in to kiss him on the forehead. “Thank you, baby. But these are kind of happy tears too, you know.” He stroked Lovino’s hair – careful to not accidentally touch the curl – and sighed. “I’m just so…grateful for you.”

“Me, too,” Lovino admitted, hiding his smile in Antonio’s chest again. “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tHEY DO THE KISSE
> 
> \- Ren


	10. Chapter 10

**_"You guys kissed?!”_ **

Lovino winced and adjusted the volume of his speakers. Haru’s loud voice boomed through his headphones – he thought he’d go deaf any time soon. “Yeah. Last week. What, I didn’t tell you guys?”

“So you’re at his place?” Alfred asked, turning on his camera. As usual, his room was a mess. Considering he was roommates with Arthur, he probably got scolded a lot for it. Lovino nodded.

“Yeah, he’s still asleep.” Surprisingly, Lovino always woke up before Antonio.

“Did you two do it?” Haru asked, grinning.

“Do what?”

Haru made a face, as if to say, ‘ _Are you kidding?’._ “You know. Had sex.”

 _I hope **you’re** kidding_, Lovino thought, groaning. “No, we didn’t. For fuck’s sake, we just had our first kiss! And our first date! Do you really think we’d get to it _that_ fast?”

“Who’s the loud one, now?” Alfred mumbled, smirking. Lovino rolled his eyes.

“Lovi?” Antonio called out from the other side of the room, walking towards him. “Baby, you’re up early, aren’t you?”

Lovino unplugged the headphones and walked over to kiss him. He grinned. “You look like shit. But I find it pretty hot, actually.” He looked down at what Antonio was wearing – which was basically…a worn out black T-shirt and boxer shorts. Tomato-printed boxer shorts, actually. Pretty cute.

“And _you’re_ gorgeous,” Antonio laughed, kissing him back. “As you _always_ are.” Lovino hugged him.

**_“Eeeeeeewwwww!”_** Alfred’s voice yelled from the laptop, with Haru’s loud laughter following. “We can see y’all, y’know! Do you guys make out like that in _public_ all the time?”

Lovino glared back at the laptop. “We were _not_ making out.” These two really _did_ radiate single man energy, he thought. The _nerds_. Virgins.

“We kind of were yesterday though, don’t you think?” Antonio teased. In response, a collective ‘ _Oooooooohhhhhhh_.’ could be heard from Alfred and Haru through the screen. Lovino blushed.

“ _Not_ helping.”

“You sure you two didn’t do it last night?” Haru asked. “I’m convinced you did. It looks like you did.”

Antonio raised his eyebrows. “Did what?” Lovino let out a loud ‘ _ahem’_ and glared at them both.

“Yeah, we actually have to go now, so you two have fun with Minecraft or whatever, dammit. See ya.” He closed the laptop and sighed. “Yeah, sorry. They’re weird.”

“I think they’re very good friends to you,” Antonio laughed. “They’re very… _observant_ of our relationship.”

 _No kidding_ , Lovino thought. Not to mention Haru kept asking about any sign of sexual tension between them. He was just joking though, right? It was too early for them to have sex, anyway.

But maybe someday…

Lovino bit his lip and stared back up at Antonio. Would Antonio be interested in having sex with him eventually, though?

“I know what Haru meant,” Antonio said, smiling. “I just didn’t bring it up because I knew you were feeling embarrassed about it.” His cheeks turned pink.

“He’s just teasing,” Lovino sighed. He smirked. “What’re you thinking about? You’re awfully quiet.”

Antonio laughed. “I am?”

“Mmh, yeah.” He kissed him on the lips, not caring that he probably looked like a fucking dork right now. “I really, really wanna kiss you a lot now, you know? Fuck, what’ve you done to me, you bastard?” Antonio grinned.

“Do you wanna take this somewhere else?”

“The hell are you implying?” Lovino giggled, wrapping his arms around him. “You don’t mean anything other than making out, hm?”

Antonio shrugged, his bangs slightly covering his eyes. He gave a cute grin. “I think it’s safe to say we’ll go for the latter instead.” He grinned and crouched down. “Come on.”

“?!”

Antonio lifted Lovino and stood up, a big smile on his face. Lovino was definitely lighter than he thought, actually. He walked towards the bed, and Lovino blushed.

“H-hey…”

“Mm? You deserve to be piggybacked all the way to bed, my darling.”

Lovino laughed. “We just woke up, dammit…” Not that he cared, of course. Man, he didn’t care about a _lot_ of things.

\--

“Mmh…”

Lovino let out a soft moan, gently thrusting his hips against Antonio’s. “You’re such a fucking good kisser, dammit…nnh…”

“You’re acting like we’re doing so much more than kissing,” Antonio gave a breathy laugh, and pressed his lips to Lovino’s again. He held him close and lowered his voice to a whisper. “I’m tempted to touch it, you know. That curl of yours.” Lovino’s eyes widened.

“You wouldn’t fucking _dare_.”

Antonio gave a mischievous grin. “I would, you know. I’m tempted.”

Lovino giggled, instantly changing his mind. “Do it, I dare you.” Antonio raised his eyebrows.

“Ah, but I don’t think so. I think I’ll save that for another time.”

“That’s lame, dammit,” Lovino protested, tugging on Antonio’s shirt. “You haven’t even seen what it does.” He smirked. “What, are you scared?”

“You’ve already told me what it does,” Antonio laughed, kissing him again. “You’re just getting frisky, aren’t you?”

Lovino made a face. “No.”

Antonio smiled. “Are you sure about that?” Lovino grimaced. There it was again – that question. 

He lifted up his shirt slightly, trying to get Antonio’s attention. For some reason, he really liked it when Antonio gave him attention, actually. “A-anyway, didn’t you say you’d kiss me all over? Last night, you said you’d do it in the morning. ‘Cos you were tired.” Antonio nodded. That was right – he’d commented on Lovino’s cute freckles – which were placed all over his body. And he had said that he would kiss every single one.

Lovino took off his shirt, allowing for Antonio to count the freckles on his chest and stomach. Antonio grinned. “You’re so cute!”

“I have them in weird places, dammit,” Lovino grumbled. “It’s annoying.”

“I find it adorable,” Antonio said, kissing one of the freckles on Lovino’s chest. “You’re so, so, cute…” Lovino let out a squeak, and Antonio looked back up at him.

“I…I’m ticklish,” Lovino mumbled, blushing. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I think you just made my day – that was adorable.”

\--

Lovino laughed to himself. It was bound to happen anyway, right? That he’d finally come to his senses and realized that there was definitely something between him and Antonio – something more than just friendship.

But he didn’t think it’d go this far, really. For fuck’s sake, he’d just made out with him this morning!

In bed.

The tip of his pencil broke off, and he stared at it blankly. What was going on, anyway? Why was he thinking so much about this? They hadn’t really done much, right? Just…hug and stuff.

_And made out in bed._

Ah, that was probably it. It was the making out that made him think so much. H-how was Antonio such a good kisser, anyway?! Sure, he was experienced, but…still! He didn’t expect it to be that…

…Was _hot_ the right word for it? Lovino glanced over at Antonio, who was busy typing away again – probably writing that new story of his that he had been so enthusiastically telling him about. Come to think about it, Antonio was actually really good at writing. Especially when it came to character development and shit like that. And the love scenes, too.

Still watching his boyfriend, Lovino bit his lip in thought. Speaking of romantic scenes, did Antonio ever write anything with sex in it? It didn’t seem like something he’d do, but it was a possibility. And he’d be all up for reading it – although he wouldn’t tell him that, of course.

“Hey, do you wanna read what I’ve written so far?” Antonio asked, a smile on his face. He passed the laptop to Lovino and scrolled to the top of the document. “I’ve just finished writing the first chapter.”

Lovino nodded and propped the laptop onto his bed, reading through the first few sentences. The way Antonio wrote was so…simple, yet it seemed so beautiful and intricate. And he knew that those three words shouldn’t be together in the same sentence, but that seemed like the best way to describe it. Antonio was just really good at writing.

He raised his eyebrows, getting to the middle of the second page. Man, was this main character snarky as hell. An aspiring actor, a rookie in the drama and film industry – someone who was still trying to figure out who he was.

 _‘What a dick_ ,’ Lovino thought to himself, making a face. But he sure had big dreams, that main character. Main guy seemed to _curse_ a lot, too.

Then it hit him, and he stared back at Antonio, who was on the other side of the room, silently watching Lovino read the snippet. “Hey,” Lovino said, “is this guy based off someone you know…?”

“Ah, you got it, didn’t you?” Antonio laughed. Lovino rolled his eyes. Who wouldn’t? It was obvious this main character was based off him.

Lovino laughed and shook his head. It was pretty damn flattering, though. To think Antonio would even think to base the main character off someone like him. “Don’t you think I’m kind of boring, though?” he asked. Antonio shook his head.

“No, not at all! If the main character were someone like me, then this story would truly be a disaster,” he chuckled. Lovino quickly saved the document, before handing the laptop back to Antonio.

“You need to autosave your shit,” Lovino said, glaring at him. “If you lose it, you’re basically fucked.” Couldn’t Antonio at least save them to a USB drive or something?

 _What a vulgar way of putting it_ , Antonio thought, trying not to laugh. But Lovino made a good point. He nodded. “Ah, I’ll definitely take note of that, then!” Antonio looked around the room, and gave a sigh. Couldn’t Lovino at least…do _something_ about the mess in their room? So much for buying expensive furniture – the man was practically a slob. His clothes were scattered across the floor – including his underwear, and… _condoms?!_

Antonio awkwardly picked up one of the tiny squares, and glanced back at Lovino. “Um…Lovi?”

“Yeah?” Lovino lifted his headphones off. “What?”

“What are… _these_ doing on the floor?” It felt like he was embarrassing the boy, for Christ’s sake. Antonio actually felt bad, even though it was Lovino’s fault in the first place for not cleaning up.

Lovino raised his eyebrows. “Oh. Those just fell out of my pocket, actually. I just couldn’t be bothered to pick them up. Don’t worry about them, they’re from years ago.” Back when he used to hit on girls. All that shit from the past.

 _Ahhhhhhhh_. This was actually pretty fucking _embarrassing_. But it didn’t seem like Antonio cared, as usual. He just simply _smiled_! Which was weird, dammit – because who just _smiles_ when their roommate is so much of a slob that they leave everything on the floor – to the point that they don’t even bother to pick up condom packets that had been sitting inside a jacket pocket for two years?! Lovino hurriedly picked up the small squares, awkwardly tossing them into the trash can.

Antonio grinned. “Hey, don’t sweat it, okay? I’ve been young at some point, too.” Lovino made a face. _Young_? Antonio was only two years older than him, wasn’t he? But still, the fact that this man always took all the responsibility for everything…

Who the hell are you, a _saint?_ Lovino thought, bewildered. He had to be some sort of angel or something, to have that kind of overwhelming patience for him. It actually seemed like Antonio was doing something to his mindset or something – the way he thought. It wasn’t like he was really _brainwashing_ him, but…

Holy shit. Lovino hadn’t smoked in what, a _month_? Antonio wouldn’t let him vape in the room, either, but when they were outside, he was free to do whatever he wanted. But he still didn’t – probably because of the overwhelming guilt, knowing that Antonio didn’t want him to smoke. Or vape.

“You could at least try to help clean a little,” Antonio laughed, and Lovino snorted.

“Even if I tried, the room would still look like shit.”

Antonio raised his eyebrows. “Fair enough.” But didn’t Lovino have good taste in furniture and room design? Not to mention he always bought expensive things for the room – Lovino had bought a PC, two monitor screens, a TV, and LED lights, too…

He felt bad, actually. It seemed like Lovino was buying everything. Such a shame that he didn’t know how to take care of the room himself, though. Antonio was always left to clean everything on his own. Not that it bothered him, of course! At least Lovino was paying more attention to his studies.

Which was good, considering Lovino had once told him that during the past year or so, he would spend his free time doing weed with friends or something. Or sneak into clubs with them, and get so drunk to the point he couldn’t walk or even _speak_. So it was nice to know that Lovino was finally studying.

Or at least, making some sort of effort, Antonio thought to himself, smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone hacked my google account T_T i got back into it though haha
> 
> sorry if this chapter seems rushed or boring. i will try to make something more interesting :) suggestions are always open!
> 
> \- Ren


	11. Chapter 11

“Gross,” Clarisse said, glaring at Alfred. “You know you aren’t really allowed with gum in class, right?”

The blond grinned and pushed his glasses upwards slightly. “This is college, dude! _Not_ high school.” He pointed to his teeth and laughed. “Hey, look! It stuck to my braces!”

Arthur heaved a long sigh, and sat down next to him. “That’s disgusting. Don’t you have anything else to do? Perhaps study, or–“

 _“Study?”_ Alfred repeated, raising his eyebrows in mock disbelief. As expected of Arthur – since childhood, he’d always been so studious. “Man, this class is _shit,_ Artie! You can’t _really_ be enjoying this!”

“Well, regardless of whether I enjoy it or not, I have to do it anyway. Like you said, this isn’t middle school or high school.”

 _Here we go again_ , Clarisse thought, watching the two argue again. Though Arthur always looked like he was too tired and couldn’t be bothered to make his point, he did it anyway – especially if it was Alfred. Or Francis. Alfred, on the other hand, always had so much energy and didn’t like losing in a fight no matter what it was about.

She laughed to herself. Should’ve joined a debate team instead. It wasn’t unusual for the two to bicker like this, but usually it was just banter.

“The lecture’s about to begin,” Clarisse quickly said, nudging Alfred. She narrowed her eyes, glaring at him. “Pay attention for once.”

Arthur nodded in agreement. “And for Christ’s sake, put the gum away!” It was always like this, wasn’t it? Alfred was like a small child, always being scolded left and right.

Well, they both knew that it wasn’t like complaining about it was going to change anything, but it was worth a try.

\--

“Can you stay over at my place tonight? You know, just to study and shit, dammit.”

“Oh, sure! After all of our classes?”

“Duh.”

Clarisse stared at the two boys. Their daily interactions seemed a bit different to what they were during the first week of knowing each other, that was for sure. Well, it was only natural – after all, Lovino would’ve eventually had to warm up to Antonio. They were roommates, after all. But something seemed different.

Her eyes widened. Were they together? Together, as in… _dating?_

But maybe they were just close friends. Like family. Brothers. Actually, probably not.

She bit her lip in thought, watching them. Then…what sort of relationship did they have, exactly? Maybe she’d ask Lovino later. Clarisse nodded to herself, and sighed. It wasn’t like Antonio was going to give her a proper response, anyway.

Antonio seemed to have run off somewhere. Perhaps to the local convenience store to buy stuff. It wouldn’t do any good to ask him, after all. He’d just avoid the question. Or maybe he wouldn’t, on days that he was in a genuinely good mood, to the point he agreed to have friendly conversations with her and actually be nice to her for once. But he was tricky around her, so…

“You’re thinking about something,” Lovino said, interrupting her train of thought. Clarisse looked up from the ground, and shook her head.

“Ah, it’s nothing. Just assignments, group projects…you know the drill.”

Lovino snorted. “The drill?” His long bangs fell over his eyes again. Damn, he needed to cut them. But he always refused to, no matter how many times Clarisse told him he looked like some sixteen-year-old emo kid who was probably going to drop out of high school within a few months just to rank up on some game. “Don’t be a dumb bitch. Spill. What’s on your mind?”

Clarisse shook her head again.

“Is it about me?” Lovino asked, sighing. She bit her lip. Thin ice, buddy. Thin ice.

“Yes, and no.”

Lovino sucked in a breath, and (finally) pushed his bangs to the side. “Is it about Antonio, too?”

“…” There was no response, but Lovino immediately knew the answer was probably yes. He rolled his eyes.

“You think there’s something between us, don’t you?”

“No. You’re just…really friendly with him all of a sudden. Are you guys best friends?” Clarisse tried her best to avoid the topic, the question – this entire _conversation_ , but it seemed like her best wasn’t enough, because Lovino let out a loud laugh all of a sudden.

“You do,” he chuckled. “You think we’re dating.”

 _He has a really nice smile, but I kind of want to punch him right now,_ Clarisse thought, frowning. “Look, just forget about this. I…need to go home anyway. To the dorms, I mean. See you tomorrow.”

Lovino walked in front of her, blocking her path. “Yeah…no. Not right now.”

“Why?” she asked, gritting her teeth in annoyance. “Let me through.” He gave a small smirk.

“We are.”

“What?” Clarisse picked up her bag from the floor and stared at him.

“We are,” Lovino repeated, this time lowering his voice to a slight whisper. “We’re dating. Me and Antonio.”

Clarisse gaped at him. “You’re-“

His eyes widened, and he clamped his hand over her mouth. “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Do you want everyone in the fucking university to hear?!”

“Oh. Who exactly have you told, anyway?”

“Nobody.” Lovino’s face went red. “Just Alfred and Haru.”

“Oh. Oh, my God.” Clarisse bit her lip again, trying to take in all of this information. She’d suspected it, of course, but it still seemed…shocking. A little bit. Just a little bit. She looked up and tugged on his shirt in excitement. “You’ll tell me everything I’ve missed, right?”

“Yeah, sure. Just…don’t tell anyone. Not now.”

“Why?”

“Because…um…”

Clarisse stared at him for a bit, then she nodded in realization. He was probably still closeted. “Oh. Nobody else knows. Right? That you’re, umm…gay. Or bi. Or pan. Whatever.”

“The first one,” Lovino quickly muttered under his breath, as Clarisse gave a small smile. “Don’t tell anyone. Please.”

“I won’t,” Clarisse laughed. “I’m in your friend group now. Who else do I have to tell?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been busy lately because of school,,,exams and assignments ;;w;; but im back!! these chapters will be a bit shorter so that its easy for me to update often haha
> 
> -ren


End file.
